Whether your definition of commitment means marriage, a verbal agreement to be exclusive or just a man keeping his word to you, our dating coach, Paige Parker explains why you mustn’t waste another second of your time on a guy who isn’t capable of committing to you on the level that meets your needs.
Today, I’m encouraging you to declare Your independence from dating drama!
That means not wasting another second of your time on a guy who isn’t capable of committing to you on the level that meets your needs.
Now your definition of commitment may include legal paperwork (aka marriage) …
… Or it might simply mean a verbal agreement between you and your boyfriend to date one another exclusively.
Who knows, you may only expect him to commit to actually calling when he says he’ll call!
Every woman’s expectations are different, and that’s perfectly fine.
Just as long as the man in your life is honouring yours!
So how can you be sure if the guy you’re dating is capable of commitment?
Take my quick quiz and see!
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“Is He Capable of Commitment?” Quiz
1. Choose the answer that best reflects your guy’s relationship history:
a) He’s had a handful of serious girlfriends, but broke things off when he realized that they weren’t “the one.”
b) He’s dated a few women, but the relationships haven’t lasted past 3 months or so.
c) Cartons of milk have a longer shelf life than his so-called “relationships.”
2. You invite him to be your guest at a friend’s wedding that is six weeks away. He responds:
a) “Uh, wow. That’s a long time from now. I’m still trying to decide what I want to do tomorrow.”
b) “Let me check my calendar and get back to you.”
c) “Count me in! Tux or suit?”
3. You and your guy are walking down the street when he bumps into a good friend of his whom you haven’t met yet. He:
a) …introduces you nervously: “Hey, Mark, this is, um, uh, {your name here}. {Your name here}, this is my best buddy from college, Mark.”
b) …carries on a five-minute conversation with his friend without introducing you or even acknowledging your presence, while you stand by, feeling awkward and dismissed.
c) …proudly puts his arm around you and says, “Mark, I’d like you to meet my girlfriend, {your name here}.” And Mark replies, “Wow, so you’re {your name here}! I’ve heard so much about you.”
4. After a week of your guy acting strange and a little distant, you decide to ask him, “Is everything ok with our relationship?” He replies:
a) “We’re fine. I’ve just got something on my mind that I’d rather not talk about.”
b) “Everything’s great with our relationship. I’m just really stressed about work. Thanks for asking.”
c) “What do you mean by ‘relationship?'”
5. When the topic of marriage comes up (hypothetically in conversation, on TV or in a movie, etc), he says:
a) “I could see us married one day… can’t you?”
b) “Marriage is for suckers! I’m never getting tied down.”
c) “Sure I want to get married … Once my career is established and I’ve saved some money and I’ve had enough time hanging with the guys and done some travelling and…”
Scoring:
1. a = 4 b = 2 c = 0
2. a = 0 b = 2 c = 4
3. a = 2 b = 0 c = 4
4. a = 2 b = 4 c = 0
5. a = 4 b = 0 c = 2
Now add your points from each question. If your total is:
16 – 20 ….. 100% Capable of Commitment.
While he may not be completely certain of what his future holds, he definitely sees you in it! Keep the lines of communication open and you should have no trouble staying on the same page.
8 – 14 ….. On the Fence.
He’s not opposed to the idea of commitment – he’s just not ready to seriously consider how it fits into his life just yet.
If you’re in the early stages of dating him, you enjoy the time you spend together and are comfortable with just “seeing where it goes,” there’s nothing wrong with continuing to go out with him.
Just be prepared to move on if you get to the point where you’re sure you want something more serious and he doesn’t.
0 – 6 ….. Commitment Phobic.
Whether he just doesn’t see you as long-term girlfriend material or he’s got deep seated issues/fear about the *concept* of commitment in general, this guy is probably a lost cause.
If he’s so concerned with having his “freedom,” you might want to free yourself up to meet someone who will recognize what a catch you are and is happy to commit himself to you wholeheartedly!
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