It’s the age of instant everything – instant meals, instant coffee, instant cooking, even instant love.

The rat race leaves most of us little time for personal relationships or social activities like dating. For most, meeting suitors has to be juggled with a busy working schedule, and who has the time to meet men, when you’re juggling deadlines.

In a world moving at the speed of internet chat, it’s only natural that online dating opens a whole new range of possibilities for a woman to meet her soulmate. The beauty of online dating is you can use it to find your long term partner, a casual relationship, or just a new friend.

But if you think dating is a pretty scary task, online dating can be far more daunting. It’s a world that you should enter with an open mind, because you never know what you're going to get.

Because of the anonymity factor in meeting online, it can be a far more unsafe proposition for a woman than conventional dating. Many who’ve tried it will tell you that they’ve been misled at least a few times, and unfortunately in some cases, just downright deceived by posers with fake photographs and identities.

But just following a few safety tips can help you avoid potentially dangerous situations and make online dating a safe and enjoyable experience.

Preserve your anonymity

It is essential to maintain one’s anonymity while looking for a date online. Never disclose personal details like your real name, phone number etc, either over the dating service’s messaging system or over your profile. Even if you are more than just comfortable about the other person’s intentions, make sure that you exchange personal details only after you’ve met.

Patience and common sense

It may have been a long while since your last relationship, but that doesn't mean you should be in a hurry to get hitched. Trust your instincts, take your time and use common sense to make sure you're ready to take the next step and don't end up doing anything that makes you uncomfortable.

Be ambiguous about your life and don’t let the other person get a clear picture about any details of your life, that may give him the chance to track you down in person. For example, you can tell a person that you practice yoga, but you needn’t mention which yoga classes and where.

Remember to take it slow and don’t jump to conclusions about the other person too quickly. Ask a lot of probing questions and look for clues in the answers. If you have any doubts, always trust your intuition and back out before its too late.

How to spot trouble online

Here some red flags that could indicate you should proceed with utter caution, or even simply walk away.
· If he’s does not give you any definitive answers, then it’s more than likely that he may have something to hide. For example, if you ask him his marital status or age and he avoids answering.
· When what he says doesn't match the information from his profile, chat and e-mails. Also watch out if he seems to have several different IDs and email addresses.
· If he’s disrespectful and spiteful in your conversations about others or life in general, think twice about meeting this person, as it says a lot about the person’s character.
· If he moves too quickly or is too hasty in saying the three magic words without even meeting you, a U-turn is what you should take.
· Be wary of anyone who presses for information like your exact address, or place of work or study which aren’t relevant.

Taking the next step

If your online chats gradually progress to telephone conversations, keep your ears sharp and practice active listening, as you can learn a lot about a person from his phone mannerisms.

Ask lots of questions and make sure that they are all answered. And if your gut feeling still says that something is still amiss, then call off the impending meeting for nothing is worth such a risk.

Your first meeting

When you finally decide to meet in person, make sure that you do so in a public place, in broad daylight with lots of people around. Go to a restaurant or an outdoor café, and make sure that one of your family or friends are aware of you going on such a date.

Never agree to being picked up or getting into a car and avoid places with alcohol and you need to be in your senses. A lunch or breakfast date is a good idea, as it allows you to get away using the pretence of work if things don’t turn out quite the way you wanted.

While with online dating, a lot depends on fate and luck, it’s always smart to be prepared. If all three factors align the right way for you, nothing can prevent you from having a great dating experience.

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Sakshi Singh
		About the author:
		Sakshi Singh is a freelance creative writer based in Mumbai. She writes for leading news dailies and provides content for e-commerce and online portals. She can be contacted on This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it
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