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Jobs For Women: Why We Have More Work Options For Women Today

Women’s rights and their fight for equality are some of the hottest topics of discussion in the global forum. Women have finally come out of their shells and are going all out to prove their worth in the real world. They now refuse to be bogged down by men and prefer to take charge of things themselves.

Interestingly, the media is also backing this sudden liberalization of women. These days, we get to see ads and banners portraying professional-looking women, promoting everything from clothes to colleges. Even all the debates and essay writing competitions are marked with women-centric topics. All these seem to work for women as they are now faced with more choices than ever.

The Government has passed laws and bills that entitle women to have equal voting, education and payment rights, among other options. They are now free to choose any career path, their life partner and lifestyle.

In fact, now there are certain professions, where the percentage of male workers is very low. For example, when we think about a nurse, we automatically think about a woman in uniform. Then, there is fashion and modeling industry, cheerleading squad, ballet dancing troupe and many more, where females outnumber the males.

An assistant dress designer of fashion giant, Escada, good-humoredly says, “Working here is no fun as there are hardly any men to flirt around with!” Ironically, many men are being hired to cover stories regarding female empowerment.

Jobs, for women, have now become a medium to break away from all the shackles that were holding them back. Apart from the usual women-centric fields, several other career avenues have opened up and women are proving their worth in the military, politics and sports.

Society has also come to terms with women’s potential to excel as pilots, car racers, golfers, DJs and what have you. Along with financial independence, women are now entitled to own a property, get one through heredity and co-own a home with their spouses or partners.

At work, women now get equal pay and working conditions. They also get the same number of vacations or casual breaks. There remain some basic concerns with all the working women – the foremost among these is work-life balance. However, with organizations offering flexible hours and work from home options, women have more freedom to pursue their careers without compromising on their family life.

Since women have are flooded with choices when it comes to work, they can definitely exercise some of their rights back home too. As Isha Singh, a 28 year old businesswoman puts in, “Even if you have achieved the pinnacle at your workplace, you still have to work your way from scratch to convince your family regarding time issues. Only after much convincing did I manage to set up this business, while my in-laws decided to take care of the children whenever I was out.”

It is only because people have started to understand their value in the workplace, that women now have more options in their work front. It is now up to us women to make optimum used of the freedom and choices available to us.



Codependent Behaviour: Is It Running Or Ruining Your Life?

By Michael David Lawrience B. A., B. Com

I am a white male born in Canada and now living in the United States for half of my life. I only recognized my codependent behaviour 2/3’s of the way through life. Codependency had been running and ruining my life for all that time without me knowing. It took another 20 years for full recovery from codependency.

Although I have visited India twice for spiritual development, I have little understanding of how codependent behaviour affects Indian men or women. I apologize for this; however, the areas of codependency remain the same regardless of our culture. Therefore take what I say and apply it to your situation where you can.

I am led, however, to understand that some Indian men have behaviour described as the “Mama’s Boy”. I will talk about that later. I now give you a brief summary of my personal challenge with codependency.

It has taken me many years of learning how to develop my inner masculine strength to stand in the truth of who I am while in a relationship with women. My pattern, until my relationship with my present wife, Lyn, has been a fear of judgment and being hurt for revealing my thoughts and feelings. My fear kept me prisoner to codependency.

When my partner felt good, I felt good. When she expressed unhappiness, I fell into a pit of misery. Sometimes the woman became the persecutor berating me for lack of communication and I went into feeling victimized.

My mate, however, became just as victimized by the persecution of my icy unloving silence.  It has taken seeing my emotional patterns and a great deal of inner work to release these subconscious archetypes of past emotional pain.

It has taken listening to my intuition; letting go of control and trust. It has taken courage to go beyond my childhood experiences of feeling unloved and the trauma of an alcoholic father.

Codependency creates much suffering in relationships. I believe from teaching about codependency to groups for a number of years that over 90 % of American families have some degree of codependency, from mild to severe.

It could be different in India; however, I am unfamiliar with any studies. The questions still are: Are you or have you been codependent? Can you recognize the behaviours of codependency in your boyfriend or husband?

As Pia Melody, author of Facing Codependency says, The heart and soul of codependence lie in the difficulty codependents have knowing what their feelings are and how to share them. In her book, she talks about different types of boundaries – energy fields around us to keep people from coming into our personal space.

People who have been abused may use walls instead of healthy boundaries, walls of fear, anger, silence, or words for a feeling of safety and they can switch from one type of wall to another to remain invulnerable. They (walls) do not allow for intimacy . . . . A wall can be appropriate, however, when a person needs protection from someone who is abusing them, says Pia.

Codependence counsellor, Robert Burney says, Codependency . . . to be emotionally anorexic.  Not having our emotional needs met in childhood sets us up for the behaviour patterns that cause our adult emotional needs to go unmet . . .  reflections of our Spiritual wound  . . . that deep empty longing can only be filled spiritually, by reconnecting with our Source.

The above quotes describe the essence of codependency related to feelings, needs, and boundaries. I will then list the five main areas of codependent behaviour.

1. Inability to recognize our needs.
2. Lack of taking care of ourselves, fulfilling our own needs.
3. Inability to know how we feel.
4. Lack of skill or fear of expressing our feelings.
5. Poor personal boundaries. Fear of standing up and saying “No.”

I will soon talk about the behavior of some Indian men known as “Mama’s Boy. I address this in reference to Indian women and how they might better handle it to achieve better emotional health for themselves.

First I will clarify my relationship with my own mother. My father staggered through life drunk much of the time, angry and shouting at my mother. I retreated inwardly and kept my mouth to protect myself.

Since my father chose to be absent a lot of the time, both physically and emotionally, I unconsciously as a child took on the role of my father to protect and look after my mother.

You can see the roots of my codependent behaviour. Rather than taking care of my own needs I felt I needed to care take of the women in my life. I numbed my feelings and had no skill in expressing them. Last of all seeing the behaviour of my parents I had no idea of good personal boundaries.

Codependence And The “Mama’s Boy”

Let’s come back to the “Mama’s Boy” concept. This is an adult man still unhealthily connected to his mother. His mother is over-involved in her adult son’s life, emotionally needy, and demanding her son’s attention.

The mother makes financial, career, and relationship decisions for her son. She provides the emotional support that a girlfriend or wife naturally would fulfil. The son continues remaining a boy emotionally. Why would such a man need any other woman?

In the above codependent relationship the son looks after the mother’s needs and feelings to the detriment of his own. He probably fears to express his own feelings and of course, we can see the unhealthy boundary issue.

This son places his mother’s happiness above that of any other woman. As a woman would you want your boyfriend or husband to treat you like a piece of furniture rather respecting and loving you? Would you like to feel invisible or be treated like a doormat?

Would you like to constantly compete for your partner’s attention and have your needs ignored while his mother controls and dominants him and receives all his love? Will you let your codependency or that of your partner run or ruin your life?

Here is a simple test to recognize your own degree of codependency. When you find yourself attracted to or involved with a man who has a codependent relationship with his mother will you stay and struggle as a third-class citizen, or will you say I deserve respect and love and leave that relationship?

Michael David LawrienceMichael David Lawrience is the author of Emotional Health: The Secret for Freedom from Drama, Trauma, & Pain coming to Amazon as a softcover in mid-June 2011. Michael is a certified Residential Coach III with over 13 years’ experience teaching teen’s self-awareness, self-esteem, and self-reliance. He has over 35 years’ experience as a holistic health practitioner with a B.A in Sacred Healing and has been a certified Bowenwork Practitioner since 2005. His niche is emotional health with extensive personal experience related to codependency recovery, strengthening self-esteem, healing the inner child, stress management, and meditation which he has practiced for over 40 years.

I hope you enjoyed this article with Michael and that you’ll check out his softcover book when it is ready at Amazon mid-June. You can 0rder other versions here now at Read FREE 1st 50-pages the book The Secret for Freedom from Drama, Trauma, & Pain.

Photo source shho

Corporate Blogging Tips To Benefit From Your Company Blog

Blogs are massive resources of information from both inside and outside companies. Business people survive the world of blogging because they learn how and where to dig up information while protecting their own secrets. Although blogging can be risky world for businesses, there are several helpful tips that can help bring success to corporate blogging.

Business woman

The Important of Blog Coaching

It is important to make sure the members of the communications team are coached and well-trained in blogging etiquette. In the past, this team was composed of a small group. However, with the advent of blogging, everyone who blogs at the company is spreading a specific message about the company.

People who handle the blogging for the company must be trained to avoid  spilling any unnecessary or crucial information. If by accident, important information regarding the company has been disclosed, this can put the company under the watchful eyes of regulators and compromise your business.

Inappropriate leaks may lead to embarrassing revelations about the inner workings of the company and its staff and could provide your  competitors with leverage. Although the usual action taken is to prevent employees from blogging, this can be a shortsighted decision.

Bloggers from within the company can easily relate and make contact with potential clients and even enhance the brand of the company, given the right blog coaching and training to ensure that their actions benefit the company image.

Why Fake Blogs Don’t Work

Several, if not all, companies are eager to establish one-on-one links with their consumers, though they are often hesitant to venture in the world of blogging. As a result, they set up fake blogs. Fake blogs are those created by the company’s marketing department in order to promote a product, brand or service using a fake name or character.

These kinds of blogs are risky, since several bloggers who are passionate about what they do view them as an insult to the bl0gging community, and no one can deny the fact that these blogs are very visible to the public.

Although there are no rules prohibiting a company from creating pseudo-blogs, the topic of creating one is always controversial. Keep in mind that when you choose to create a fake blog, you must do so with a full awareness of all the risks involved. Some creative and humorous fake blogs have become very popular with readers and the community they target.

Tracking Blog Mentions

Tracking your blog mentions is one of the easiest and most important tips to remember. It is important because even postings from small-time bloggers can be selected by search engines, strengthened by a well-known blogger and ultimately hit the mainstream.

Firstly, your company must search  for the most influential blogger who writes about their products or services online. Remember to read the blogger’s updates everyday and perform an automated tracking of discussions. Try to establish a relationship with the blogger and offer them exclusive updates or products to review.

Walking The Public Relations Tightrope

Blogs have the ability to break down barriers between the company and its customers. It is important for businesses to take that into consideration and adjust their public relations strategy. There are several companies that start a blog in order to create customer loyalty and address their customers’ concerns and comments.

Relating to your customers is a vital factor in the survival of a business. Knowing what they think about your products or services can help enhance your company’s services.

Keeping Your Company’s Secrets

Be very careful about keeping proprietary information a secret at your company. Whether it is a list of projects for the following year or information about scandalous activities, there are several things that you must learn not to leak to your competitors or your readers.

Companies are increasingly sharing information to win new partners and generate new ideas in today’s marketplace. It is important to evaluate whether you can gain more out of sharing details about your company than keep them to yourself and plan your blog promotion strategy accordingly.

Visit Blog Brandz for more information about blog coaching services and get free blogging tips, guides and video tutorials.


Photo source bizior

The Best Working Women’s Hostels In Mumbai And Delhi

As women are increasingly coming out of their familiar territories and going to other cities for working, the demand for working women’s hostels has never been so high.

Hostels for career women require special attention to safety and privacy because some women boarders may have to come back at odd hours if their jobs demand so. Moreover, a place full of young women is always considered vulnerable to stalkers and eve-teasers.

A good working women’s hostel is one which can provide good quality of food and accommodation, apart from ensuring total safety for the boarders there.

Mumbai and Delhi are the hotspots for all kinds of jobs in India. Naturally, the need for working women’s hostel is the greatest here. So, here is a list of some of the best working women’s hostels in Mumbai and Delhi.


  • YWCA, Andheri, Mumbai

This is undoubtedly one of the most popular working women’s hostels in Mumbai. They have various branches and sister concerns in the city too, for those who cannot stay at the Andheri campus. The overall rules and ambience of the place makes every boarders’ stay a pleasurable one.
Address- 53 Asha Kiran, Near Navrang Cinema, J P Road, Andheri West, Mumbai – 400058
Call- +(91)-(22)-26702831, 26702863, 26702872, 26703021

  • Savitribai Phule Girls’ Hostel, Charni Road, Mumbai

This place is equipped with all the modern amenities that a working women, living away from her home, might need. Facilities include, Library / Reading Room, Computer Center, Conference Room, Ground for playing and other activities, Internet Facility, etc.
Address- Opp Railway Station, 35,Netaji Subhash Road, Charni Road, Mumbai – 400004
Call- + (91)-(22)-23695353, 23679812, 23679813, 23679815

  • Working Women’s Hostel, Narayan Chandra Trust, Moregaon, Thane

It is a cost-effective place to put up in, without having to compromise on quality of the facilities provided here. With well-ventilated rooms and helpful staff, Narayan Chandra Trust is a convenient hostel to stay in.
Address- Moregaon, Near Tala Manvelpada Road, Virar, Thane – 401301
Call- + (91)-22-61631323

  • Good Shepherd Convent Hostel, Andheri West, Mumbai

This is an above-average working women’s hostel in Mumbai at the convenient place of Andheri. It is a neat and clean accommodation with cultured environment.
Address- 4 Bungalows Azad Nagar P O, N Dutta Road, Andheri West, Mumbai – 400053
Call- + (91)-(22)-26371863, 26314602, 26372422

  • Aditya Birla Working Women’s Hostel, Chembur East, Mumbai

Living up to the Aditya Birla tag, this hostel is a grand place to stay in. It not only provides well-furnished rooms and good food, but it also has prompt staff members in case of any emergency
Address- Chembur Naka, Behind Chembur Fire Brigade, Siddhart Colony Road, Chembur East, Mumbai – 400071
Call- + (91)-(22)-25220123, 25291400, 25220123

  • Villa Theresa Hostel, Peddar Road, Mumbai

It is a well-rounded accommodation for working women in Mumbai, in terms to location, safety, food, ambience, cost-effectiveness, etc.
Address- Bldg No 66, Near Vama Departmental Store, Peddar Road, Breach Candy, Mumbai – 400026
Call- + (91)-(22)-23899443



  • The Great Ambience, Civil Lines, Delhi

It is a quiet and green place to stay in the heart of Delhi. Each of the rooms here are tastefully decorated to make the borders’ stay more comfortable.
Address- 14,Ram Kishore Road,Civil Lines, New Delhi, 110054
Call- + (91)-(11)-23923403, 23980692, 9818072495

  • Paramount Girls Hostel, Chanakyapuri, Delhi

You can opt to stay alone or share your room with one/two more boarder(s) in this working womens’ hostel in Delhi.
Address- B-13, Ard Cplx, Sec-13, Nr Coffee Home, R K Puram, Delhi – 110022
Delhi (NCR)
Call- + (91) – 9312506580

  • Indira Niketan Working Women Hostel, Sarojini Nagar, Delhi

A well-known working women’s hostel, this place offers single and double rooms, as well as, dormitories to the ladies who want to stay here.
Address- Near Sarojini Nagar Mkt, Laxmi Bai Nagar, Delhi, Delhi, 110023
Call- +(91) – (11) – 26880113

  • Nora Niwas Women’s Hostel, Vasant Kunj, New Delhi

This working women’s hostel in Delhi is conveniently located for those who work in Gurgaon-based companies. They provide all the securities and safety necessary to support all the women staying there.
Address – 69, Bhawani Kunj, Opposite D2, Vasant Kunj, New Delhi, Delhi 110070.
Call- +(91) – (11) – 26130215


Working Women In India: How To Improve Their Work Environment

India is now registered as one of the nations having the fastest growing number of career women in the world. One of the oldest constitution in the world, India always stood for equal rights, pay and working conditions for women – at least on the legal front.

It has taken a little more time to make this a reality. But now people are waking up to the fact that women are competent workers in almost all fields. Organisations, both big and small, are going all out to hire women for various positions.

According to “The Glass Ceiling in the 21st Century: Understanding Barriers to Gender Equality”, edited by Manuela Barreto, Michelle Ryan and Michael Schimdt, gender discrimination is a myth.

Most of us, especially career women, like to believe that there are no biases against them just because they want to think so. This topic is very subjective as it differs from one experience to another, across professional fields.

However, there are some indications that accusations of gender discrimination in the workplace are not without basis.

Challenges Faced By Indian Working Women

Since women are often pre-judged as “soft” or “weak-hearted”, people tend not to assign them responsibilities that demand assertiveness and a firm demeanor. Sending women on official trips is also considered as risky an unsafe in many companies.

Nitin Khanna (name changed), HR Head in a leading MNC, says, “It is an unspoken rule in our organization to recruit women for typical ‘9-5 desk jobs’. We already had some issues with prior female workers regarding temporary relocations or going out for official tours, which caused us to take this step. However, if we come across a suitably qualified and experienced resource, we don’t let gender get in the way.”

Women can fight against discriminatory attitudes and hostile work environments by taking charge of the situation and making themselves aware of the laws and rights they are entitled to.

They need to be expressive and assertive whenever they are faced with unfair treatment and aggressively fight for their rights. Many organizations now have women support groups that allow female employees to vent their grievances and discuss suitable solutions.

Technically, even the Government of India is in favor of equal rights and working conditions for working women. It has introduced several policies and terms that find relevance both in the topmost tier as well as the grass-root level of organizations.

Unfortunately, these are not adequately publicized and many women are not even aware of their existence. If all working women are educated about these laws and regulations, their status in the workforce would greatly improve.

Organizations that recruit women in their workforce need to be more proactive in keeping a tab on employees and scrutinizing everything that seems to be working against their female employees.

They need to provide clear terms and policies regarding equal and fair play in their workplace, and promise to take strict actions against those who initiate any sort of discrimination towards women or resort to sexual harassment at work.

Rajarshi Guha, Quality Head of a popular marketing company, says, “We have clear and well-defined rules and regulations in our company regarding fair treatment to all our female workers. We take strict action against those who even hint at any sort of unfair partiality towards the women here, though the cases are very rare.”

Family values play a pivotal role in shaping our attitudes and mindsets towards the opposite sex. Every Indian male must be taught to respect women and treat them as equals from an early age. Only then will the need for any rules or laws protecting women’s rights be deemed unnecessary.


Single Women: The Pros And Cons Of Staying Single For Life

Single women enjoy the benefits of freedom, financial independence and the ability to prioritise their career above family. Staying single is a choice that Indian women are choosing in increasing numbers, as they refuse to settle for less than satisfying relationships. Pallavi Bhattacharya analyses why, like all other choices in life, choosing to staying single has its pros and cons.

A circulating SMS goes like this: ‘Marriage is like a mouse trap. Those outside it are craving to get into it. And those inside it are craving to get out.’ This holds true, for so many single people, dying to tie the knot maybe envisioning a perfect life post-marriage. It is only after marriage that they realize that it comes with its own set of problems.

Being married or staying single is a choice. Like all other choices in life, singlehood or being in a relationship has its pros and cons.


  • Freedom

Sue Tosto, Relationship Coach says, “If you’re single, you don’t have to rush home and cook dinner for your family. You don’t have to fall into the habit of putting everyone ahead of yourself in taking care of everyone else’s needs. You have only yourself to worry about.”

“You come and go as you please, without having to worry or think about what someone else may say or do. You can go on vacation without thinking about where someone else would like to go. You don’t have to answer to anyone else with regards to financial matters. If you’d like a pet you go buy one without worrying if someone else in the house will like it or not.”

According to Pushpa Moorjani, Co-founder of Swami Brahmanand Prathisthan School for the Mentally Challenged, “Married woman have obstructions and rules to follow, (don’t do this, don’t go there, don’t talk to this one, what will people say, think of family prestige etc), so she is always craving for independence and this may destroy her self-esteem in the process”.

Loreta Desouza, working with the Indian Airlines as Office Superintendent, adds, “One of the best things about being single is that you have your own individuality and you can help many more people. When you are married you tend to restrict yourself to your own family. Whereas being single helps you develop your own creativity and individuality. You have a lot more freedom, as you can choose what to do and how and when to do it.”

  • Self-Sufficiency

Not many people appreciate the fact that, in general, single women are far more self-sufficient than most married women. We often see married women (especially those from very conservative families) relying on their husbands for everything, from writing a simple cheque to buying a house.

If you ask them a simple question like, “Where will you spend your vacation?” the likely answer is, “I have to ask my husband.” Sometimes wives are so clingy or over-dependent on their husbands that they lose their individuality and feel they can’t survive without male protection.

Single women, on the other hand, learn to single-handedly manage their job, housework and finances. They’ve learnt to fend for themselves without banking on a man to do things for them.

  • Prioritizing Career

The ideal traditional Indian bahu is expected to cook and clean rather than have a career. At work, however, your boss is not likely to entertain the excuse that your domestic responsibilities are hampering your job productivity. Married women are therefore expected to look after the house meticulously, as well as manage their careers efficiently.

Single women, on the other hand, can put in late hours at work without anyone complaining at home. They can go on official tours without a mother-in-law complaining that she is being unhomely and disloyal to the family. A single woman can plan her career and dedicate herself to her work more effectively than most married women can.


  • Nobody To Share Expenses With

Rent, electricity and phone bills, petrol, daily groceries – you’re the only one paying all of them. There’s nobody to share expenses with. The positive aspect to this is that you are in complete control over your finances. And the satisfaction that you get from being financially independent is great.

Unlike some married women you don’t have to rely on your husband to give you money if you want to buy an outfit for yourself. When a single woman saves money to buy her own apartment or afford her dream vacation, it gives her immense confidence to be able to achieve these things on her own.

  • Nobody To Return Home To

The popular impression of a ‘spinster’ is that of a lonely, old lady, dying all alone surrounded by her cats. Whereas it may be true that a single woman is more likely to return to an empty house than a married woman this isn’t always true. A single woman may not be living with her partner, but is likely to live with her parents, roommates or friends.

Also it’s not always true that a married woman comes home to a little piece of heaven and falls into the arms of her lover, after a hard day’s of work. She may simply come back to a house where the husband is chiding her that dinner is not ready, as he watches a cricket match on TV.

  • Never Having Biological Children

Although artificial insemination is yet to become a viable option in India, this may change in the near future. Dr.Hrishikesh Pai, Secretary General of the Indian Society of Assisted Reproduction, Gynecology and Infertility Specialist at the Lilavati Hospital IVS Centre says, “Though I do get single women who want to undergo artificial insemination, since it is not yet legalised, I don’t do it. However, the Government of India is in the process of legalising it in near future.”

Deliberately having a love child conceived through natural means, and choosing to raise the child without the father may have social complications, which is why this is not often heard of in India. Also there may be problems when the child grows up and wants to know the identity of the father or met him.

Role models like Sushmita Sen have made adoption a viable alternative for single women bitten by the mommy bug. Alternately, you could always enjoy the company of your nephews and nieces. Volunteering or joining an NGO that works with children is another way to satisfy your maternal instincts.

Your biological clock ticking should never be a reason for tying the knot with the first man who wants to marry you. Companionship with a desirable partner is a much healthier reason for marriage than having a child.

Advances in medical science have now made it possible for older women to have healthy children. Film Director, Gurinder Chadha, recently had twins at 47, so waiting to meet the right man is now a choice that women can make without concerns about fertility.

  • Lack Of Romance And Sex

Some single woman feel a sense of void on seeing a couple dancing, holding hands or kissing passionately in a park. If you’re addicted to love, think of it as the solution to all your problems, or feel incomplete without romance in your life, this void may gnaw at you, leading to self-pity at your aloneness.

However, one fact to remember is that if you feel incomplete and unhappy without a relationship, you very likely will feel the same way even in a relationship. Looking for another person to “complete” you is the biggest myth we’ve been sold by popular culture. The fact is, you have to love yourself and feel complete by yourself before you can be in a healthy relationship with someone else.

Besides, not all married couples are in love, basking in romance and having great sex. You only have to read the ‘Agony Aunt’ columns to see that marital and sexual woes are the rule rather than the exception. It’s also not true that single women lack romance in their lives. Even if they do not have a boyfriend or husband, they are free to date.

If some singletons feel a tinge of sadness on seeing a couple, it’s very likely that many married woman are also envious of single women. Pushpa notes, “When a married woman sees her single friend, carefree and liberated, being able to support herself and live with dignity, while she is chained to life-long-imprisonment of an ungrateful and selfish family, it can leave a married woman totally demoralised, which her own family may not even know”.

A married woman may feel guilty if she fancies a man other than her husband, or even be trapped in an unhappy marriage, but a single woman is free, by her conscience, to have infatuations and date as many men, as much as she pleases.

  • People Assume You’re “Available”

Because a single woman can date anyone she wishes, there will always be people who feel either threatened or attracted by her freedom. Friend’s wives may see her as a threat to their husbands. Married men, on the other hand, may proposition her, assuming that she’s not selective about whom she dates.

As Anu Bhatnagar, Public Relations Consultant notes, “Sometimes people are threatened by a single woman, especially if they have a son, brother, husband around fearing you might snatch that guy. Because for the world, a single woman is a woman looking for a guy and she will do anything for one. They don’t want to know why she is single. Parents have hidden their NRI sons from me, though I did not even know they had one. But after a stage, if you know what they are doing, it can be amusing if you have a sense of humour.”

  • Dealing With Intrusive People

Nalina Samynathan, Public Relations Executive says, “Family functions are an absolute pain when you’re single with everyone asking you why you’re still single and not married and being surrounded by couples making you feel like a third wheel. I might as well tape the explanation and replay it to everyone who asks.”

Pushpa says, “A majority of people in society look down upon single women because they are jealous of her bravery. Societies have their own imaginations and they feel every single woman is unhappy, an easy catch, unworthy and an object of pity. It’s high time they realized that a woman sometimes chooses to be single, and will be ready for commitment, only if she finds a worthy man. She will not clutter her space with society-must-haves.”

Uncomfortable questions and assumptions about your singlehood will bother you even more if you are not happy about your single status. You’ll find it easier to ignore or laugh at these comments if you don’t pity yourself for being single, and are not desperately seeking love.

Loreta advises, “You need to know how to deal with society and be able to handle people. If people’s assumptions as to why you are single are incorrect, just let them say what they want and get along with your own life. You need to develop your inner spiritual strength to be unfazed by people’s comments on your single status.”

Photographer, Paul Steven, advises, “Try avoiding situations which may get you stuck answering annoying questions on why you are single. Schedule your day around family members, friends or acquaintances who are positive instead. Life is too short to be the alternative to positive.”

  • Pressure To Get Married

Nalina says, “I think the pressure to get married comes from the age old belief that women have to be protected as they are the weaker sex. Parents worry that when they’re gone their daughters will be alone in the world with no one to look after or protect them.” In reality there’s no guarantee that your children or husband will look after you when you are old. They may be just too caught up with their own lives to do so.

Whether married or single, it is best to take responsibility for yourself, care for your own health, and do your bit to stay as fit and healthy as possible. You could also form a support group of senior citizens in your area who decide to be there for each other when ill. Such communities are very popular in the West, and will become popular in India with the realization that children cannot be depended on to take care of you.

Anu says, “You need to understand the fears of your parents, but at the same time show them that can really live on your own and make sensible choices in life. Regarding society, largely ignore or avoid them. Don’t waste your energy, wisdom and time trying to make them see sense, as it will just frustrate you.”

Sue advises, “Set a boundary with friends and family. Refuse to discuss it if it’s always ‘their’ way, in ‘their time’ and directly linked to what ‘they’ believe you should be doing in your life. Don’t get sucked into the biological clock thing. Don’t settle for marrying the first perceived best thing out there if you’re not sure.”

Thoroughly enjoy your single life by being in the moment, rather than thinking of it as a ‘waiting phase’ for marriage. Learn to see the positive side of being single and use it as an opportunity to discover and develop your talents, and express yourself creatively. Enjoy the ‘single and loving it’ tag while it’s still yours.


Relationship Drama

Emotional Relationship Drama: Would You Like To Stop Yours?

By Michael David Lawrience B. A., B. Com

Relationships do not cause pain and unhappiness. They bring out the pain and unhappiness that is already in you. ~ Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now

Relationships we choose or end up in reflecting back to us like a mirror who we are inside. They reflect our emotional states, our beliefs, and our wounded unhealed aspects.

We can choose to ignore or remain unconscious of what our relationships mirror about our internal states. Worse we can blame and get angry at our partner for what they reflect about us. Then the drama, emotional conflict and turmoil will continue recycling, endlessly.

On the other hand, we can choose to recognize that everything our relationship reveals can be used for greater understanding and healing of ourselves and thereby our relationship. It is best if both partners have a willingness to do this.

Our relationships besides reflecting our internal states also show the patterns we learned and took on unconsciously from our families.

As Rahasya in the article, Counseling, says, “It seems that suffering patterns repeat themselves. If we look at a family, the suffering pattern gets inherited, gets transferred from grandparents to parents to children.”

I see the truth of what Rahasya says in my first relationship. I felt joyless and trapped in my birth family growing up and now again I felt trapped in my relationship with Angelique.

So how do we overcome our inherited family patterns of drama? Charlotte Kasl in her book, If the Buddha Married, expresses the suffering that occurs in relationships.

Understanding our attachments, how our expectations, fears, and demands lie at the root of our individual suffering, including our suffering in relationships . . . .

We discover how we can use our highly charged flashes of emotion to help us wake up rather than retreat from our relationships. We learn to stay present to ourselves and acknowledge our anger, fear, or hurt, so we cease hiding from ourselves and those we love.

To summarize what Kasl says, we can use the feelings of anger or hurt sparked by our relationships to stay present with those feelings within ourselves.

As we move through them however long that takes, this allows them to change, to empower ourselves and our relationship. Also, first of all, we can express how we feel to our partners without acting out, for instance, our anger.

For example, we could say, “I feel so angry right now I could pick up this chair and smash it. I am not going to do that though. I am going to instead feel this anger without acting on it. I am going to fully feel it inside my body and just stay present with it.”

The main obstacle in love is fear, the fear of turning vulnerable, of surrendering and, ultimately, of suffering … What we should not forget is that pain is normal in a relationship. By shutting down your affective flow, you block both pain and love from reaching you,” says Stefan Anitei, science editor.

Because of past suffering, I believed in ignorance that more feelings meant more suffering so I remained in a permanent state of emotional numbness, afraid to feel.

Locked inside my body, without expression, the pain never had a chance of releasing so I suffered. In addition, Angelique and I both blocked our expression of love for each other.

Robert Burney, codependence counsellor in the article, Letting Go of Unavailable People says, “We need to focus on healing our self, on understanding and healing the emotional wounds that have driven us to pick people who could not give us what we want emotionally.”

Have you picked partners out of your own unrecognized and thus unhealed trauma that remained unemotionally capable of nurturing you?

Without knowing, we create a cycle of conflict, a cycle of hurting, attacking, and withdrawing from each other. This cycle then goes on and on without either person ever noticing his or her role in it.

It’s this cycle of conflict that creates the suffering in relationships,” says Bill Ferguson, author, and relationship workshop leader in the article, Learn How to End Conflict in any Relationship.

Like most people growing up, I received no education on the dynamics of a healthy family, proper communication skills, or awareness and expression of feelings without blame.

I resolved no longer to continue the misery of my parents in my relationships before I ever entered relationships and yet, I ended up out of ignorance repeating the same patterns of conflict.

Fortunately, I stopped the emotional drama in my relationships through recognizing and healing my codependency, becoming aware of, speaking to, and healing my inner five-year-old boy, and integrating my inner feminine energy and emotions with the help of my women partners.

At the beginning of this article I mentioned how relationships mirror back to us who we are. Here are some tips for your benefit.

See these tips adapted from author Shakti Gawain’s article, How to Apply the Mirror Principle to Your Relationships.

1. Think about people you admire. Write down 5 qualities you like about them. These positive qualities also describe you.

2. Think about someone who upsets you. Write down 5 words that come to mind when you think about that person. Do you have some of these same qualities?

Note: When you get angry at your partner or someone stop and reflect what is this telling me about myself? It has nothing to do with them. It is all about us. Are you ready for positive change and the ability to transform your relationships? Are you ready to stop the drama in your relationships and take a good look at yourself?

Michael David Lawrience is the author of Emotional Health: The Secret for Freedom from Drama, Trauma, & Pain coming to Amazon as a softcover in mid-June 2011. He is a certified Residential Coach III with over 13 years’ experience teaching teen’s self-awareness, self-esteem, and self-reliance. He has over 35 years’ experience as a holistic health practitioner with a B.A in Sacred Healing and has been a certified Bowenwork Practitioner since 2005.

Michael’s niche is emotional health with extensive personal experience related to codependency recovery, strengthening self-esteem, healing the inner child, stress management, and meditation which he has practiced for over 40 years. I hope you enjoyed this article with Michael and that you’ll check out his softcover book when it is ready at Amazon mid-June. You can 0rder other versions here now at Read FREE 1st 50-pages the book, The Secret for Freedom from Drama, Trauma, & Pain.

Money And Women: Identifying The Root Of Your Money Story

For years, I have heard from thousands of souls about how they don’t have the money to invest in their growth, follow their dreams, and create optimum health.

The pain that comes up for them is quite intense and can often create veils of illusion from seeing the truth of what is really going on at the root of their money story. As long as they are stuck in this pain, and continue focusing on what isn’t working, they continue to create more of what the don’t want (since what we focus on always expands).

The truth is that money is NOT holding them back from creating that which they desire. They are holding themselves back (on some level of consciousness). Money just becomes a palatable reason.

In addition, they are using the same methods to heal their money story, and the same mindset that created the issue, cannot be the same mindset that solves the issue.

Therefore, they continue spinning in circles, feeling like a hamster on a wheel, leading to feelings of hopelessness, frustration, confusion, and much more. As you can imagine, it makes it challenging to create a new reality while spinning in this energy.

Can you relate to what I’ve shared so far?

If so, let’s go back to the truth that I shared above – that it is not money holding you back, it’s actually you putting the brakes on (and the reasons can be infinite).

So, why are you holding yourself back and hiding behind not having enough money as the reason?

Although the reasons are varied, here are the 4 common reasons that I have uncovered in working with souls over the years:

  • Fear of Personal Power

Many of us do not know how to manage our energy and manage our authentic power, so rather than embracing our light, we retreat from it because we don’t consciously understand it, only to experience sustained feelings of being disempowered and disconnected.

When we learn how t o celebrate our greatness and manage our infinite light and expansiveness, it actually becomes a joy rather than a burden. If this resonates for you, what is it costing you to fear your own divinity?

  • Fear of Having It All

Do you suffer from the “what will other’s think” syndrome? If so, this may be the pain point in your money story. What is the price you’ve paid in the past when others have perceived you as having it all? How safe do you feel when life is going well?

How often do you find yourself dulling your light and creating “problems” in order to make others feel more comfortable and to “normalize” yourself? More importantly, what is the price that you have paid (and are currently paying) to stay locked in this fear?

  • Fear of Leaving the Tribe Behind

How often do you make decisions based on what your family and/or friends expect from you? How often do you find yourself putting your life on hold, suppressing your dreams, and playing small because you’re afraid of disappointing others by moving on?

It doesn’t have to be all or nothing! You can still remain energetically connected to others if you choose, while still soaring in your own life. You are not abandoning or rejecting others when you live your life to it’s fullest, you are actually providing others with a model of how they can live a fearless and full life if they so choose.

If you are waiting for others to give you permission to move on while they stay behind, you are likely going to be waiting for a long time. Can you live with that? More importantly, what is it costing you to waiting for the green light?-)

  • Fear of Not Being Worthy Enough

If you have received messages that you are not worthy or not lovable, you very well may feel that you do not have a right to receive money. Since money is energy, it may also hit a deep chord inside of you that you are not worthy of anything divine.

The truth is that you are an extension of the creator, and as an infinite being of light have a divine entitlement to your divine birthrights, including wealth. Until this is healed within, you will continue to be disconnected from the energy of money. In not healing this, what is that costing you?

So, when you are holding ourselves back, but using money as the reason, you can see how it’s really NOT about the money, right?! It’s actually about protecting yourself from the pain generated from one (or more) of these fears. And, until these fears are cleared, your unhealthy money story will continue.

The key for you right now, is to identify which fear is most prominent, and find a new way of shifting the energy so that it no longer acts as a barrier to your fullest potential (and make sure you act on the healing now, as opposed to another thing that you’ll get to soon…:)

© Jennifer Longmore, Business Energetics Expert, is a leader in creating profitable, sustainable, highly-conscious businesses models for healers, visionaries, and spirit-based entrepreneurs. As an internationally-acclaimed radio host, healer, speaker, and author, she is recognized for creating a 6 figure enterprise within the first 10 months of launching her healing practice several years ago and now is best known for teaching others how they can do the same. Her laser-like focus and visionary mindset has catapulted entrepreneurs, just like you, through quantum leaps on all levels so that they can thrive in their purpose-based businesses beyond their wildest dreams! Ready to apply the power of business energetics right away. Visit to learn how Jennifer can support you in your entrepreneurial adventures so that you can spread your message and leave a global imprint.

Building A Brilliant Business: 5 Business Blocks To Overcome

“You can’t cross the sea merely by standing and staring at the water.” ~ Rabindranath Tagore

“Be prepared” say good boy scouts. It’s a great motto, isn’t it? But are you prepared to take your business to its next level of success and impact?

Business Blocks

Growing a business is like planning a great trip. There’s your starting point and decide to go to a certain destination. There’s a gap to be traversed from where you are to where you want to be.

Savvy travelers plan ahead so they are prepared. They choose their route. They know the climate so they can bring the right kind of clothing. They get immunized to ward off disease. They learn some of the local language and make sure they have proper currency on hand.

Being prepared goes a long way towards overcoming the challenges that can crop up during any journey from point A to point B. The brilliant entrepreneur who plans ahead for potential challenges is going to end up miles ahead of the game, and the competition.

I believe there are 5 main challenges that come up when building a brilliant business. The good news is that if you learn about them now, you’ll be able to navigate around them instead of letting them take you off course altogether.

  • Block #1 – Having a Challenging Relationship With Money

Our relationship with money is critical to our path to brilliance and it affects so many areas of our business and life. But this relationship is often not fully examined, as many feel disempowered with limiting beliefs, lack of knowledge, and self-sabotaging behavior. This spills over into our prices, our service structures and how we have the money conversation with our clients.

As one of my mentors says, “How you do money is how you do everything.” Navigate this block by committing to transforming your relationship with money as a cornerstone of your game plan to building a brilliant business.

  • Block #2 – Not Having Clarity

Without being clear about our vision and purpose, we end up prey to chasing down bright shiny objects or struggling to make clear decisions. It’s a set-up for getting stuck in Spiritual Overload Syndrome.

Commit to saying “Yes!” only to those opportunities and choices that allow your Highest Self to come forth.

  • Block #3 – Not Having an Authentic Road Map

Are feeling frustrated and inauthentic trying to shoe-horn your branding, marketing, programs and business into someone else’s system or blueprint? While it’s great to learn from the wisdom and the mistakes others in your field have made, don’t let your desire to “model” others turn you into a cookie cutter.

My spiritual teacher says, “Don’t imitate, radiate.” Your individual brilliance and authentic essence need to be honored.

  • Block #4 – Having a Crack in Your Emotional Foundation

I always remind my clients and students that your business will only ever grow as big as you are willing to grow yourself. So this is why I believe it is so important for brilliant entrepreneurs to be engaged in an ongoing program of personal transformation that Is geared to raising your level of consciousness.

Building a business will bring up every deep, hidden personal issue you ever had. Make the choice to commit to doing the work needed to ensure your emotional and spiritual foundations are strong and deep enough to hold the highest potential of your business dreams.

  • Block #5 – Not Having a Supportive Community

Stepping onto the entrepreneurial path can be very lonely. When compounded with any old habits of not being willing to ask for help and taking issues personally, we can feel isolated and dispirited quickly. Plus, our typical support system of family and friends may not be able to help unless they have that entrepreneurial mindset and vocabulary as well.

Take advantage of the power of a group. Finding a supportive community where you can tap into the collective wisdom, energy and inspiration with fellow brilliant entrepreneurs eases the load and accelerates your success.

  • Step Into Your Brilliance

Take a look at where you want to go with your brilliant business. From where you are now, look ahead to that destination and then review the 5 blocks. Write down at least 10 specific ways you see some of these blocks showing up for you.

For example, in the area of money you might have specific examples of “I don’t charge what I’m worth” or “I don’t have a plan to tackle my debt.”  Then circle two of the actions that feel most pressing to you and see what action you can take this week to create a breakthrough for yourself.

© Carolyn Ellis is the founder of Brilliance Mastery ™, a program that helps women entrepreneurs own their brilliance so the mission of their business can be communicated clearly, powerfully and profitably. Carolyn is a certified Money, Marketing & Soul Coach, the creator of the THRIVE Principles ™, founder of Thrive After Divorce, and the award-winning author of The 7 Pitfalls of Single Parenting: What to Avoid to Help Your Children Thrive after Divorce. She publishes “Bits of Brilliance”, a weekly e-newsletter that offers inspiration, wisdom and support for the woman entrepreneur or business owner who is committed to living her brilliance. Get a copy of her special report “The 7 Secrets to Unlocking Your Brilliance as a Woman Entrepreneur”.

Photo source fangol

How To Choose The Right Career To Match Your Personality

“Personality is the supreme realization of the innate idiosyncrasy of a living being. It is an act of high courage flung in the face of life, the absolute affirmation of all that constitutes the individual, the most successful adaptation to the universal condition of existence, coupled with the greatest possible freedom for self-determination.” ~ Carl Gustav Jung

In this competitive world, women need to carve their individuality in their own unique way, i.e., by choosing a career that matches their personality. No woman can find happiness in something that she is forced to do.

It is extremely important that your career matches your personality to ensure job satisfaction. Nowadays, recruiting companies often use personality assessment tests to evaluate the performance of an individual.

Personality tests match people to career interests and often measure their efficiency, job preferences and innate talents. How do they start with this? With a personality assessment, of course!

How Personality & Career Assessment Tests Work

They analyze what kind of a person you are – an introvert or a person who loves being with kids or an out-and-out social animal? Once, you have analyzed what category you fall in, they help you choose the best careers that match your personality.

  • If you are an INTROVERT

Introverts are often labeled as ‘loners’, but in reality they are idealistic dreamers. Here are some professions that suit the introverted personality type.

• Writer: The best way to convey the words that you cannot speak out loud is to pen them down. The one advantage that a writer has, is the power to reach out to so many, without imposing someone to read your thoughts

• Singers & Dancers: It would surprise you to know that many singers and dancers are introverts; it is their idealistic ‘big picture’ dreams that make them throw themselves out of their cocoons and onto the stage.

• Veterinarian/Zoologist: Many of us prefer the company of animals instead of people. For animal lovers, this seems like a good career option.

• Painter/Sculptor/Exhibitionist: Introverts tend to speak less; hence, they look for other mediums such as painting and sculpting to express themselves. If you don’t have artistic talents, you can still become an exhibitionist.

Some other career options that suit the introverted personality are:
• Computer Systems Analyst
• Accountant or Auditor
• Database Administrator
• Technical Writer
• Editor

  • If you’re an EXTROVERT

They are far more complicated than what the rest of the world realizes. They have the great skill of being manipulative and ‘people persons’, which can work wonders in their lives. Here are some professions that suit the extroverted personality type.

• Personal Chefs & Trainers: In this fast-paced life, professionals of all types are turning to Personal Chefs & Trainers for personalized meals and routines that fit their lifestyle. Celebrities and sports bigwigs usually look out for the best.

• Fashion Stylist: This is supposedly the ‘in-thing’ now. Every professional likes to look good both at work and leisure. If you have a great sense of fashion then this is supposedly the right career option.

• Interior Designer: If you’re the kind of person who can look transform a blank space into a work of art, then a career as an interior designer could be your destiny. It is perfect for someone who can work with a client and help turn a vision into reality.

• Public Relations (PR): The nature of this job demands you to maintain a good rapport of the company you are working in along with the clientele, media, community or the society.

• Sales Managers: Representing the company, advice customers, advice dealers and distributors, ensure functional effectiveness of business.

  • If you’re a CREATIVE PERSON

You can definitely carve out a niche for yourself through your innate talents and creativity and make a profession, whether it is in the field of art, music, computers.

• Computer Specialist, Information Technology (IT): Today, the world of computers is more and more performance oriented; specialists are needed to come up with these solutions. They express new program ideas, fix older problems, and communicate these solutions to people who may be a little less experienced in these areas. Creative solutions that are cost effective and possible are an IT’s specialty.

• Film Director: If you have a taste for film making and an eye for detail and creative drama, then this creative career is what you should choose. The creative approach of taking the written work and making it presentable on stage/screen is the challenge of this profound career.

• Photographer: A photograph is more than just a picture. It is a form of art that captures the ‘past’ or an intense form of beauty. It says something without words. A photographer uses his/her creativity to enhance the beauty of nature.

• Graphic Designer: Graphic designing, whether it is for a website or a company, is a growing field.

• Curator: If you have an ‘eye for art’, this indeed is a very good career option, which requires you to take care of the artifact.

  • If you are a person with SOCIAL INCLINATIONS

If you are a person who has a strong inclination towards Social Causes, there are many options ahead in the form of careers. As a Social worker, you could help clients function the best way they can in their environments.

• Child, Family and School Social Workers: They specialize in providing social services and assistance to improve the social and psychological functioning of children and their families. Support to senior citizens also falls under this category.

• Medical and Public Health Social Workers: They provide psychosocial support to those affected by chronic, acute, or terminal illnesses. They work with patients, families, and caregivers.

• Mental Health and Substance Abuse Social Workers: They work with people who have mental illness or substance abuse problem. Services they provide include individual and group therapy, outreach, crisis intervention, social rehabilitation, and training in skills of everyday living.

• Social Work Planners and Policymakers: They develop programs to address such issues as child abuse, homelessness, substance abuse, poverty and violence.

These are only a few of the options that you can choose, depending on your personality type, but indeed you are the best judge for yourself.

Work is something you do all day, and for most of your life. It is essential that you be completely contented with your work and need to, not only find a career doing what you enjoy, but also need to find a career that suits your personality.