Ever been in a one-sided relationship or felt the agony of one-sided love? These relationships tips from SHEROES users will help you get over unrequited love.
Oh, the bitter agony of unrequited love! It has inspired poems, books, movies, and epic tales. But one-sided love is painful, and when love is one-sided it can be pure suffering for the person going through it, whether it involves lovers, friends, or family members.
So how would you define unrequited friendship or unrequited love – meaning unreturned love or unanswered love? Unrequited love in a relationship occurs when your expressions of affection or love for another person are not returned or reciprocated.
If you feel that you love someone else more than they love you, and are sending them one-sided love messages that they ignore or don’t respond to, you’re experiencing the heartbreak of one-sided love.
Whether you have unrequited feelings for a friend, a lover, or a family member – such as a parent or sibling – unreciprocated love can be very painful for a person who loves someone but is not receiving love in return.
Unrequited love with best friends is often jokingly tagged as being “friend-zoned” and it results in many people losing a friend because of unrequited love.
Famous one-sided love stories and Hindi movies show unrealistic examples of unrequited love that have made people think that with enough persistence, they can get their unrequited crush to fall in love with them. But this usually ends in disappointment.
For those in a one-sided relationship or experiencing the misery of one-sided love, there’s nothing more welcome than some good relationship advice to help them get over unrequited love.
5 Relationship Tips To Get Over One-Sided Love
So how can you get over your one-sided love story and move on with your life? Here is some unrequited love advice from SHEROES users who shared their thoughts on one-sided love.
These relationship tips will help you get over one-sided love, attraction, and infatuation and find happiness again.
1. Learn to love yourself first
We can only love others as much as we love ourselves and self-love is the first step to loving others. Obsessing over another person – and expecting them to love us back – is a sign of a lack of self-love and self-esteem.
SHEROES user, Pranavi Gupta, has some great advice for those yearning for unattainable love. As she says, “We can’t force anyone to have feelings for us, but self-love will help you know your own worth.”
After practising self-love for a while, most people start to realize that they’re wasting their time on one-sided love thoughts for a person who doesn’t love them back. As Acharya Priti Tehim says, “The love you have been distributing freely, keep it for yourself.”
When you focus on loving yourself and boosting your own self-esteem, your need for other people to love you will diminish and you will stop obsessing about whether they love you or not.
2. Appreciate the love you already have in your life
You may already have many friends and family members who love you, so if you’re obsessing about someone you can’t have, you’re looking for love in all the wrong places.
Author, Aaradhana Agarwal, shares this beautiful one-sided love quote:
It’s more important to focus on the people who already love you and care for you. Don’t neglect these loving relationships to chase after a one-sided relationship that will never bring you happiness.
Remember that there are many other things in life that make you happy and you’ll obsess less about your one-sided relationships.
3. Put your focus on your own life
It may sound easy to tell someone to keep themselves busy at work, talk to other people, focus on their own life, but those thoughts about one-sided love can creep in at the most inopportune moments.
When that happens, don’t beat yourself up or feel bad. Gently guide your thoughts to more positive ones. It takes practice to be able to do that, but the more you do it, the easier it will become.
4. Learn how to be happy on your own
If you find yourself obsessing too much about your one-sided love, start learning how to be happy without them. Ask yourself why that relationship means so much to you.
Do you feel being with that person will make you happy? In that case, why not just focus on being happy yourself, instead of making another person responsible for your happiness.
As this article says, relationships won’t fulfil you if you don’t fulfil yourself first. Your happiness cannot depend on what another person thinks and feels about you. Being happy is a choice you make every minute of every day.
You cannot be happy in a relationship until you learn to be happy on your own. You need to take responsibility for your own life and your own happiness before you can be happy in a relationship.
5. Realise that true love is unconditional
When you begin to realise that true love is unconditional and that, by expecting something in return, you are practising conditional love, you will be able to give up the expectations you have from your one-sided love.
Girija Gokul Nair sums it up beautifully with these words:
Don’t let one-sided love affect your self-esteem and make you unhappy with yourself. Instead, make that person your inspiration to always be better and happier in life.
One thing about love is, if you don’t love yourself first, you will never know how to love other people right.”
Getting over one-sided love is never easy, but we hope this “unrequited love” advice will help you get over your unrequited relationship.
If your one-sided love is due to a relationship that has gone sour and you’re having a hard time forgetting that person, learn about the mindset changes that will help you leave a bad relationship.
If you need relationship advice from a professional counsellor, for moving on from one-sided love or overcoming unrequited love in marriage, post your message on the Ask SHEROES free online counselling chat helpline for women in India.
About the author:
Priya Florence Shah is the Group Editor at SHEROES and author of Devi2Diva, an emotional self-care book for women.
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