I’ve been reading three excellent books (Ok, I admit it. I’m a serial info-junkie!):
- You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay
- Ten Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives by Dr. Laura Schessinger
- A Woman’s Self-Esteem: Struggles and Triumphs in the Search for Identity by Nathaniel Branden
The common thread that runs through all of them is that to heal ourselves and have healthy relationships, the most important quality we must cultivate in ourselves is Self-Love/Self-Worth/Self-Esteem.
Like most women, I learned the hard way that if you don’t love and respect yourself, there’s no way you can expect someone else to love and respect you.
Louise Hay writes how we make ourselves ill by having thoughts of self-hatred. I know this is true, and recommend her book to everyone, man or woman, who needs to learn how to heal the wounds of the past (and we all have these wounds, whether we’re willing to admit it or not).
The other books are woman-centric. Nathaniel Branden’s extensive writings on building self-esteem are applicable to both sexes and highly recommended.
But I’m enjoying Dr. Laura Schessinger’s book the most, because she really tells it like it is. If you’re unhappy and your life seems a mess, you have no one but yourself to blame, she says.
So true! Women are often their own worst enemies. We don’t need men to hurt and abuse us. We’re pretty good at doing that to ourselves.
Ten Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives uses real-world examples from Schlessinger’s radio show and private practice to drive the message home. And the message is that our reticence to be bold and brave often makes us act like stupid, submissive victims. Once we muster the courage to take responsibility for our own problems and to tolerate the discomforts of risk, the possibilities for personal growth and joy are limitless.
She also notes that there are no quick fixes to boosting your self-esteem. That women can learn a lot from men when it comes to building one’s self-worth and recommends having a sense of purpose and working towards a goal as the best way to boost self-esteem. But there are more aspects to self-esteem – integrity, for instance – as Branden notes in his book.
Some people would say that womens fragrances are a way to express yourself. Scientists say that scent memory is the strongest kind of memory, and the right perfume can be memorable. You don’t have to break the bank buying womens perfume either, since there are some rather nice discount perfume brands out there, especially online.
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