Not so long ago, I was one of those people who thought that the source of my problems lay outside me. That if only other people would change, things would get better.
But life excels in teaching us the lessons we need to learn the most.
After a few hard lessons and much soul-searching, I realised that the only way my life was going to change is if I took Radical Personal Responsibility for everything I had created.
This was the #1 thing that changed my life from feeling like a victim to being in the driver’s seat.
I stopped blaming others for what I was creating in my life and understood that I Alone Was Responsible for what I had created and for where I was in my life.
I took ownership of my problems because You Can Only Change What You Own.
As long as you’re in the Victim Mode, as long as you’re saying, “Oh, it’s his fault or her fault,” you’re not taking responsibility for your life.
I see wives blaming husbands and husbands blaming wives for how miserable their life is. I see adults blaming their parents and their lousy childhood for the way they are.
Yes, I know that shit happens. Life screws us up. Our parents fail us and we grow up all messed up. And it’s true that, as a child, you have very little agency over what happens in your life.
But as an adult, you don’t have that excuse. As an adult who can take his or her own decisions, it’s your job to take the responsibility to heal from the childhood wounds life dealt you and become a better version of yourself.
You may not have created your childhood, but by refusing to heal your woundedness, you’re perpetuating that malaise.
And as long as you’re blaming someone else for your misery, as long as you’re enjoying playing the victim, your life is NEVER going to change.
It will change the day you decide that Enough Is Enough and choose to Reclaim Your Power by reclaiming ownership of your feelings, decisions and choices.
By realising that only YOU are responsible for the way you think and feel.
And refusing to make a decision, refusing to leave a bad relationship, refusing to choose a better life for yourself, Is A Decision.
That decision is you telling yourself that you don’t deserve better, that you’re not strong enough, that you don’t have what it takes. That a better life can’t be yours.
But that’s just a story… and stories can be changed.
Of course, if you decide you don’t want to change, that you’re comfortable in your familiar misery, that you enjoy whining and complaining and playing the victim in your own little Pity Parties, then no one can help you.
Because YOU’RE the only one who can help you.
It’s YOUR life, it’s YOUR creation. So OWN it, dammit, and TAKE OWNERSHIP of what you create in your world.
Because When You Own It, You Can Change It.
Priya Florence Shah is the publisher of Naaree.com and the author of an emotional self-care book for women. In the book and online course, you’ll learn how to throw off the shackles of your own limiting beliefs, come into your power and design your destiny.
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