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7 Simple Steps to Build Your Self Esteem Starting Now

By Leena Kundnani

Self Esteem or self-confidence is a quality that attracts us to others. From the quietly confident doctor whose opinion we trust, to the charismatic confidence of an inspiring speaker, self-confident people have qualities that everyone admires.

Self-confident people inspire confidence in others; be it their bosses, their colleagues, their customers, or their friends. Being self-confident is extremely important in almost every aspect of our life, yet sadly, so many of us struggle to find it.

Build Self-Esteem

Building your self-esteem is a first step towards a better life. After all, if you are self-confident, you will be able to respect yourself. And only when you respect yourself will you be able to respect others and improve your relationships with other.

The good news is that you can easily develop self-esteem. However you need to keep in mind that true self-esteem isn’t acquired overnight. Rather, it is a gradual process and you need to build on it with dedication.

You need to constantly remind yourself that you are a good human being and are worthy of respect and love. Here are seven steps that you can use to build your self-esteem.

  • Dress Smart

We have often heard the saying “Clothes don’t make the man”. While this is true, it is also true that how you dress does affect how you feel about yourself. The manner in which you dress impacts the way you feel about yourself.

This is because no one is more conscious of your physical appearance than you are. When you are well-dressed, you feel more confident and self-assured. So use this strategy to your advantage by taking care of your personal appearance.

Remember, this doesn’t mean that you need to wear designer or branded clothes or be dressed as a mannequin all the time. But simple things such as bathing daily, wearing clean clothes, and wearing what you are most comfortable in help a long way in boosting your self-confidence.

  • Work Out

Along with personal appearance, physical fitness has a huge effect on self- confidence. It is only natural that you feel insecure and unattractive if you are out of shape.

People who are fit and healthy automatically are more confident than their counterparts. Working out regularly helps you to improve your physical appearance, energize yourself, and accomplish something positive.

Working out also creates positive momentum that you can build on for the rest of the day.

  • Maintain a Good Posture

Have you observed that self-confident people always walk with their backs straight and their chest forward? Similarly, a person who lacks confidence is likely to walk or sit with slouched shoulders.

It is true that the way a person carries herself goes a long way to show whether they are confident or not. By practicing good posture, you’ll automatically feel more confident.

So go ahead and show the world that you are confident – Not only will you feel more alert and empowered, but also make a positive impression on others.

  • Walk Faster

Just as it is with posture, the pace at which you walk goes a long way to portray and build your self-confidence. People who are self- confident walk quickly.

Even if you aren’t in a hurry, you can increase your self-confidence by putting some pep in your step. Experts believe that walking even 25% faster makes you look and feel more important.

  • Speak Up

A self-confident person isn’t afraid to speak up and voice his opinion. On the other hand, a person who lacks self-confidence is tongue-tied and is afraid to speak up in a group. They are afraid that people will judge them for saying something stupid.

However, this fear isn’t really justified. Generally, people are much more accepting than we imagine. It is surprising but true that most people deal with the exact same fears. It is a good idea to make an effort to speak up in group discussions.

You could start this in groups you are more comfortable in, such as with close friends, and then extend this to your colleagues. Speaking in public will also make you more confident in your own thoughts.

  • Celebrate Your Successes

A person who lacks self-confidence believes that he is good at nothing. But this is not true. Remember that no one is perfect. Even the most confident people have insecurities.

Experts believe that having an inferiority complex is a state of mind in which you’ve declared yourself a victim. Do not allow yourself to be victimized.

Everyone is good at something, so discover the things at which you excel. Focus on your strengths and your talents, and give yourself credit for the same.

You could be good at art, music, or writing. Express yourself through these means and develop these hobbies. Everyone is born with talents and strengths. You only need to identify yours and develop and excel them.

Following your passion and your hobbies also work as a stress buster and have a therapeutic effect. This is because when you do something you enjoy, it makes you feel more confident.

  • Be Grateful

Last but not the least; be thankful for what you have. Focussing on what we lack also lead to an inferiority complex.

Remember… all of us lack something or the other. By consciously acknowledging and appreciating what you do have helps you combat the feeling of being unsatisfied.


The Impact Of Lack Of Self-Esteem On Business Professionals

By Dr. Joe Rubino

Studies show that at least 85% or more of the world’s people suffer from some degree of lacking self-esteem.

Frustrated business womanAlthough one might think that such challenges are only characteristic of the poor, uneducated, or lower socio-economic members of society, people from all walks of life can suffer situational or more widespread challenges with their levels of self-esteem.

Many very successful business people lack self-esteem in some areas of their lives. Perhaps they feel socially challenged or they have difficulty establishing close or intimate relationships.

Perhaps they experience low self-esteem with regard to their physical appearance or their health. Perhaps they are not having any fun in their lives, maybe devoting too much attention to their work.

Many “successful” people are driven to succeed. They compensate for feeling deficient in other areas of their lives by working harder and finding a place they can excel through their work.

This provides them with a new focus where they can win but it doesn’t fulfill their neglected needs in other areas like relationships, recreation, personal and spiritual development, health and appearance, and their ability to lead balanced, fun, and fulfilling lives.

Many of those lacking self-esteem in other areas find themselves driven to accomplish, driven to prove their worth. Since business is an area where they can shine, they neglect other areas to focus excessively on business.

However, since their actions are built upon the erroneous belief that they are somehow not good enough, somehow defective or unworthy of being fully loved and accepted, there is little lasting satisfaction even in the arenas where they can excel.

It’s as though they are climbing a ladder with the top of the ladder in the clouds. They think that if they can just climb high enough, they will be successful. They will have proven their worth. They will find satisfaction, happiness, and fulfillment.

However, as they climb higher and higher, they never seem to arrive. There are always new goals and objectives challenging them to prove their worth. The more they achieve, the more they have yet to go.

Try as they will, they never seem to fully measure up. Or, if they do, it is short-lived and fleeting at best. There is no arriving to the point where they find what they long for so badly ‒ the peace of mind that comes from self-love and self-acceptance.

Because the foundation of their ladder is grounded on quicksand, they often find themselves sinking as rapidly as they climb. In fact, from their perspective, they will never reach the perfection they seek so badly. They will always find evidence to highlight their flaws and reinforce their fears of being unworthy, unlovable, defective in some way.

No one needs to settle for a dimmed existence due to a lacking sense of self-worth. If our energy is spent by being preoccupied with our weaknesses or being incomplete with our past, we can never be fully present to today and so we sacrifice our true potential to bring about a result.

Our relationships suffer as we will misinterpret the words and actions of others in a way that invalidates us and has us feel badly about who we are. We may be so driven to prove we are good enough that we sacrifice our personal effectiveness and charisma by focusing on ourselves and our deficiencies rather than on the wants and needs of others.

We may play small and hide out in social situations or whenever the possibility of looking bad or “being found out” comes up for us. Or, we may overcompensate and turn to workaholic tendencies out of a desire to prove our worth to others or to ourselves. Because of this misdirected focus, we trade our ability to impact others maximally and to best contribute our gifts to the world.

The answer to escaping the vicious cycle of lacking self-esteem, diminished confidence, and the never-ending, frustrating quest for fulfillment lies in the 3-step process I lay out in detail in The Self-Esteem Book.

The process starts with healing one’s past so that it no longer robs us of energy and consumes our attention. Once the pull of past ghosts is complete, we can then turn our attention to properly analyzing our present state of affairs.

We can identify what’s working in our lives and what’s missing to support living an upset-free life in choice, a life that honors our most important values and inspires us to live passionately. And finally, we can take that magic wand that is our birthright, wave it over our lives, and design our future deliberately.

We can choose to do so in a way that excites us, as we cast off that gloomy state of low self-esteem, unhealthy resignation, and self-pity that no longer supports us. We can live with the intention to honor our God-given magnificence and lead happy, fulfilled lives that fully contribute to others as we share our gifts with the world.

Dr. Joe Rubino is an internationally acclaimed personal development trainer, life-changing success and life-optimization coach, and bestselling author of 12 books available worldwide in 23 languages. He is the CEO of The Center for Personal Reinvention, an organization that has impacted the lives of more than 2 million people through personal and leadership development programs, providing participants with tools to maximize their happiness, self-esteem, communication skills, productivity, and personal effectiveness.

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