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Women’s Self-Esteem And The Portrayal Of Women In The Media

By Dorothy Lafrinere

The never ending battle against the Media and it’s bogus idea of the “PERFECT WOMAN”. *sigh*

Lately I have been studying the media, reading articles, watching news, and looking for anything that I can find to make me feel that there is still hope for our world. If you have read any of my past blogs, then you will already know where my concerns lie.

For those of you that are just reading me for the first time, my concerns are strong regarding women of today and their search for the true identity of themselves.

Women today have fierce competition. I have spoken to many men also and they have strongly let me know that they would not trade their gender for any amount of money. They actually feel sorry for the women of today.

A few of them even shared with me that they hate the fact that everywhere they look, the media’s idea of, “The Perfect Women” is stuck in their faces. Sure it’s nice to see, any human being will appreciate a nice looking picture.

What happens at that very minute though is that they (the men) are put in a situation of feeling that they are betraying their partner by not knowing exactly how to react.

I know, I know, some of you are thinking that it is the women’s fault that the men think that way. I will agree in some cases, but these men that I have spoken to were being quite genuine in the fact that they themselves did not appreciate it.

I will be the first one to say yes to prostitution. Why? Because it keeps some of the damn rapists of the streets from attacking the unwilling women. I say yes to pornography; it keeps the men that are afraid to approach real women relieved of a very needed natural release.

I also say yes to alcohol and to chocolate with ice cream, but my dear readers, before you frown on me for what I just said, hear me say this – I do not condone the force and uncontrolled manner with which the media shoves all this down our throats.

When did we lose the right to choose whether we want to have the media’s idea of, “The Perfect Woman”, shoved down our throats every time we turn on the television, walk into a bar, just drive down the road (billboards), open a magazine, listen to a song, or even simply look in our teenagers room?

I was reading an article that was advertising the new television line ups for this falls season. I was horrified when I read about the graphic violence being used against women. Episodes showing a woman thrashing in a cage, with duct tape across her eyes, while a man’s hands are shown grabbing her bloodied fingers through the bars of the cage and ripping off her fingernails.

Another is chained up like a dog in a basement by her so-called loving husband. It gets worse – there is also one with a woman paralyzed by venomous spider bites and is being raped by a masked figure. These are what society is allowing for after dinner viewing.

I am embarrassed to even say that this is my world seeing this. They made more noise when Janet Jackson slipped a peak of her nipple at a damn football game. In a word…SAD!! The media has definitely figured out how to make money at every woman’s expense.

On a much happier note, in my searching the world’s media I did find a very refreshing commercial put out by DOVE. “Cheers Dove” is all I can say. Dove is pushing hard and continuing an uphill climb to bring back what was put on this earth as, The Real Women.

I also ran into an article trying to cut this refreshing change down. The magazine people that pride themselves on using air-brushed models with unrealistic looks, called the Dove girls in this commercial, “civilians”.

Ha! Now that is a very obvious show of defeat. They’re even trying to say that women of today will not want to buy from ads that do not promise you unrealistic beauty. Ladies, the media is, in fact, calling you stupid as far as I read. I take that as an outright insult.

It’s about time that someone stood up and gave the media’s negative actions a run for their money. Money made at real women’s expense, as I said already once. They also mention something as silly as women worry if they looked fat in their pants, as being an old-age insecurity. DUH! No one ever said it was new, yeesh.

I am also curious just how far women today are willing to let the media’s idea of “The Perfect Woman” go. We are already the butt-end of the cosmetic surgery jokes.

I feel that the only reason any woman would be turned off by Dove’s real women, is because they have been so brain washed into thinking that the media’s idea of  “The Perfect Women” is what is real. I feel sorry for them. Ladies of today, we must stand up and fight back. Do not let them turn what is supposed to be real into Barbie dolls.

So many women are confused about what is, and what is not. Why do you think so many women suffer from low self-esteem, with cosmetic surgery at every street corner and so many unrealistic expectations coming to us from the media on how a woman is supposed to look? It’s no wonder women are so confused.

Well, I know that there is strength in numbers and I do know that there are more women today that are sick of all of the media’s ideas. Ladies with low-self esteem, stand up, go to the store, and support DOVE. So what? They make money and yes, maybe there is a bit of truth that they too are using us as a way to profit.

But at least we have a place to start to turn things around. We will never be able to turn them back, but we can make them work for us, not against us. Oh if anyone thinks that Dove has asked me, or paid me to speak of them in my blog, NO and NO.

I am speaking on behalf of every woman out there has been damaged by all the garbage that the media is trying to run our world with. WomensSelfesteem.com is happy to say that Dove is doing a very good thing, on the “real women” of today’s behalf.

Don’t back down just to keep the peace. Standing up for your beliefs builds self-confidence and self-esteem.  ~ Oprah Winfrey

Dorothy Lafrinere, Owner/Operator, Women’s Self-Esteem

Image source: plus961.com

The Impact Of Lack Of Self-Esteem On Business Professionals

By Dr. Joe Rubino

Studies show that at least 85% or more of the world’s people suffer from some degree of lacking self-esteem.

Frustrated business womanAlthough one might think that such challenges are only characteristic of the poor, uneducated, or lower socio-economic members of society, people from all walks of life can suffer situational or more widespread challenges with their levels of self-esteem.

Many very successful business people lack self-esteem in some areas of their lives. Perhaps they feel socially challenged or they have difficulty establishing close or intimate relationships.

Perhaps they experience low self-esteem with regard to their physical appearance or their health. Perhaps they are not having any fun in their lives, maybe devoting too much attention to their work.

Many “successful” people are driven to succeed. They compensate for feeling deficient in other areas of their lives by working harder and finding a place they can excel through their work.

This provides them with a new focus where they can win but it doesn’t fulfill their neglected needs in other areas like relationships, recreation, personal and spiritual development, health and appearance, and their ability to lead balanced, fun, and fulfilling lives.

Many of those lacking self-esteem in other areas find themselves driven to accomplish, driven to prove their worth. Since business is an area where they can shine, they neglect other areas to focus excessively on business.

However, since their actions are built upon the erroneous belief that they are somehow not good enough, somehow defective or unworthy of being fully loved and accepted, there is little lasting satisfaction even in the arenas where they can excel.

It’s as though they are climbing a ladder with the top of the ladder in the clouds. They think that if they can just climb high enough, they will be successful. They will have proven their worth. They will find satisfaction, happiness, and fulfillment.

However, as they climb higher and higher, they never seem to arrive. There are always new goals and objectives challenging them to prove their worth. The more they achieve, the more they have yet to go.

Try as they will, they never seem to fully measure up. Or, if they do, it is short-lived and fleeting at best. There is no arriving to the point where they find what they long for so badly ‒ the peace of mind that comes from self-love and self-acceptance.

Because the foundation of their ladder is grounded on quicksand, they often find themselves sinking as rapidly as they climb. In fact, from their perspective, they will never reach the perfection they seek so badly. They will always find evidence to highlight their flaws and reinforce their fears of being unworthy, unlovable, defective in some way.

No one needs to settle for a dimmed existence due to a lacking sense of self-worth. If our energy is spent by being preoccupied with our weaknesses or being incomplete with our past, we can never be fully present to today and so we sacrifice our true potential to bring about a result.

Our relationships suffer as we will misinterpret the words and actions of others in a way that invalidates us and has us feel badly about who we are. We may be so driven to prove we are good enough that we sacrifice our personal effectiveness and charisma by focusing on ourselves and our deficiencies rather than on the wants and needs of others.

We may play small and hide out in social situations or whenever the possibility of looking bad or “being found out” comes up for us. Or, we may overcompensate and turn to workaholic tendencies out of a desire to prove our worth to others or to ourselves. Because of this misdirected focus, we trade our ability to impact others maximally and to best contribute our gifts to the world.

The answer to escaping the vicious cycle of lacking self-esteem, diminished confidence, and the never-ending, frustrating quest for fulfillment lies in the 3-step process I lay out in detail in The Self-Esteem Book.

The process starts with healing one’s past so that it no longer robs us of energy and consumes our attention. Once the pull of past ghosts is complete, we can then turn our attention to properly analyzing our present state of affairs.

We can identify what’s working in our lives and what’s missing to support living an upset-free life in choice, a life that honors our most important values and inspires us to live passionately. And finally, we can take that magic wand that is our birthright, wave it over our lives, and design our future deliberately.

We can choose to do so in a way that excites us, as we cast off that gloomy state of low self-esteem, unhealthy resignation, and self-pity that no longer supports us. We can live with the intention to honor our God-given magnificence and lead happy, fulfilled lives that fully contribute to others as we share our gifts with the world.

Dr. Joe Rubino is an internationally acclaimed personal development trainer, life-changing success and life-optimization coach, and bestselling author of 12 books available worldwide in 23 languages. He is the CEO of The Center for Personal Reinvention, an organization that has impacted the lives of more than 2 million people through personal and leadership development programs, providing participants with tools to maximize their happiness, self-esteem, communication skills, productivity, and personal effectiveness.

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