We’ve all had our share of dates that started out with so much potential, until we discovered that the guy still lived with his mother at age 33, liked to belch the alphabet after chugging a beer, or looked better in eyeliner and mascara than WE did. Paige Parker’s quiz will help you get a read on your most recent date and decide whether he’s second-date worthy.
The other night I was out having sushi with the girls and we got into the FUNNIEST conversation…
It all started when my friend Kate posed the question: “What’s the WORST first date you ever had?”
Before we knew it, we were going around the table, trading war stories:
There were the blind dates that practically made us go blind with boredom…
Online match-ups where the guy who showed up looked absolutely NOTHING like his profile photo (and NOT in a good way!)…
And of course we all had our share of dates that started out with so much potential, until we discovered that the guy still lived with his mother at age 33, liked to belch the alphabet after chugging a beer, or looked better in eyeliner and mascara than WE did.
The stories just kept coming, each worse than the one before it. I can’t remember the last time I laughed so hard.
(I guess it was when I escaped my OWN worst first date in 1999!)
But that’s the great thing about disastrous dates:
As agonizing as they are to get through in the moment, they almost always make a HILARIOUS story to re-tell afterward.
Thankfully, though, not all first dates are so obviously lousy. (Thank goodness, right?!?!)
More often than not, they’re a mixture of exciting and anxiety-provoking, interesting and baffling, fun and awkward.
In other words, TOTALLY CONFUSING.
Truth be told, it takes much more than just a first date to know for sure how you really feel about someone (and for them to realize just how fabulous YOU are too!).
And even if your first outing with a guy doesn’t result in instant chemistry and love-at-first-sight, it doesn’t mean that those intense feelings won’t develop in time once you’ve had a chance to shake off the nerves and get to know the REAL person behind the new date outfit and minty-fresh smile.
So the next time you find yourself a little unsure of your feelings after a first date, I’ve got something to help you analyze how things went.
Take this quiz to get a read on your most recent date and help decide whether he’s second-date worthy!
THE “DATING WITHOUT DRAMA” FIRST DATE ANALYSIS QUIZ
Jot down the answer that best applies to your date:
1. When the date began, you were…
a) Excited to see him; looking forward to the night ahead.
b) Nervous and anxious, but in a good way.
c) Calm, cool and collected… come to think of it, maybe a little TOO calm.
d) Wondering why you agreed to go out with him in the first place and antsy to get the heck outta there.
2. Let’s talk appearance. How did your guy look?
a) Fine. He was clearly showered and wearing clean clothes, which is all that really matters to you.
b) Hot with a capital “H.” He must have put a lot of effort into getting ready for the date, which you noticed – and appreciated.
c) Hmmm…. you didn’t actually notice. You were too busy planning your escape route.
d) Like a slob. His shirt was wrinkly and his hair was doing that “bed-head” thing. But maybe that’s the look he was going for?
3. How about the date he planned? Were you impressed?
a) You had a drink in the neighborhood/grabbed dinner in a low-key restaurant/etc. It didn’t matter to you that it wasn’t extravagant, you were just enjoying his company.
b) LAME – O! Bowling/A Movie/A Coffeehouse?!? He couldn’t have picked anything you’d be LESS interested in if he tried.
c) Perfect. He knew that Thai food was your favorite, and picked an amazing restaurant you’d never been to before. You were blown away.
d) The date that HE planned? More like the date that YOU planned?!? Well it would have been great if the guy you were out with actually had a PULSE.
4. Now for the most important part: Conversation. How’d that go?
b) Amazing. You talked about everything, and by the end you were finishing each other’s sentences like you’d known each other for years.
c) You did most of the talking, but he was probably just nervous. Hopefully he’ll reciprocate more on the second date.
d) The conversation flowed, but based on what you talked about you’re not sure you have much in common with one another.
5) At the end of the night, how did you feel about the possibility of a goodnight kiss?
a) Not exactly sure. You were hoping you’d have a “gut feeling” in the moment if he tried to kiss you.
b) Heck no! You weren’t letting that freak anywhere near your lips. He’s lucky you made it through dinner.
c) You were totally into the idea, hoping he’d try to smooch you at the end of the night.
d) Goodnight kiss? You were making out after the second round of drinks…and that was BEFORE dinner!
1. a = 6 b = 4 c = 2 d = 0
2. a = 4 b = 6 c = 0 d = 2
3. a = 4 b = 2 c = 6 d = 0
4. a = 0 b = 6 c = 4 d = 2
5. a = 2 b = 0 c = 6 d = 4
Now add your points from each question. If your total is:
22 – 30 ….. Ding, ding, ding! We have a winner! This was a great first date, at least from your point of view. I don’t need to tell you that if he asks you on a second date, you should say yes!
14 – 21 ….. Potential dateability. There are so many factors at play on a first date that can affect how you see someone – his nerves, your nerves, unrealistic expectations, preconceived notions, just to name a few – so if you find yourself still interested in this guy now that the night is over, take it as a very good sign. This guy’s got potential.
0 – 13 ….. Don’t settle. Be honest with yourself – he didn’t grab your attention, hold your interest, or float your boat, so don’t waste any more of your time on him. There are other great guys out there to focus your energy on.
This is Part 1 of the FIRST DATE ANALYSIS quiz…
To get the whole picture on how things really went, you’ll need to analyze the date from HIS perspective too!
Part 2 can be found on in “Reflections and Revelations: A Dater’s Self-Discovery Guide,” the companion workbook that comes as a bonus when you download my e-book “Dating Without Drama.”
* * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Ok… so let’s assume that your first impression of your date was not “he’s DEFINITELY the one” (this rarely happens at first sight- if ever – anyway!) but you liked the guy enough to agree to a second date.
Let’s also assume that you’re over the “casual dating” stage and so you don’t want to get too invested in someone who isn’t right for you.
How can you tell whether this guy is worth it?
Easy. You need to have a clear idea of what you’re looking for – and what you’re NOT looking for – so that if you discover this guy has “Deal Breaker” qualities you can cut your losses and move on without wasting any more of your precious time!
So what’s a “DEAL BREAKER?”
A “thanks, but no-thanks.”
A deeply ingrained mindset, quality, attitude, belief or issue a man has that simply does not fit with your life.
I’m NOT talking about something like, “he makes a funny noise when he chews,” which can easily be addressed (or you can learn to live with), but a characteristic that, once revealed, makes you realize that there is NO WAY you can have a future with this guy.
Now every woman must have her own PERSONAL set of DEAL BREAKERS, but to give you a head start, here are some that I’ve found to be pretty universal:
* * * * * * DATING DEAL BREAKERS * * * * * *
* He has a criminal record
* He’s a major mama’s boy
* He has a history of – or has shown a tendency toward – ANY kind of abuse (mental, emotional, physical)
* He’s got anger issues (with or without the abuse)
* He shows a complete lack of manners
* He’s terminally immature
* He’s emotionally unavailable
* You don’t feel an ounce of chemistry with him
* You’re hopelessly incompatible with one another (you want kids someday, he never does; you want to marry a Jew, he’s Catholic, etc…)
* He cheats on you
* He’s married
Do yourself a favor and come up with your own list of DEAL BREAKERS today, so they’re always in the back of your mind. It will allow you to weed out the undesirables in the dating pool and leave you with only the most qualified candidates!
This will help you truly become a SELECTIVE DATER, the importance of which I discuss in Chapter 7 of my ebook.
Speaking of “Dating Without Drama,” have you checked it out yet?
It unlocks the secrets to understanding men and outlines the essential rules of succeeding at the dating game.
After all, when you meet that special guy who scores off the charts on the “First Date Analysis” quiz and doesn’t exhibit ANY of your personal deal breakers, you’ll want to be prepared!
Thanks for DISHING! I’ll talk to you soon.
Your friend, Paige
Copyright 2007 Dating Without Drama Inc. All rights reserved. “Dating Without Drama” and “DWD” are trademarks used by Dating Without Drama Inc. The contents of this article are for entertainment purposes only. You are responsible for your personal decisions and none of the information provided should be considered legal or professional advice.
Stories and questions in “Dating Dish” are not fabricated by Dating Without Drama, Inc. They are submitted by real people just like you. Names may be changed or deleted to protect the contributors. Comments, questions, and quotes may be edited for length and/or clarity. By sending a question or comment, you are agreeing to allow DWD Inc. to use it in future articles, newsletters, writings, and other works at our sole discretion in perpetuity and further represent that your submissions are factual. Please keep this in mind when you send in your e-mails.
Many people now use online dating services to meet somebody, so if you are curious you shouldn’t feel embarrassed to try a dating site for yourself, especially a free one.