Can you learn how to always be happy? These tips from the happiest people in the world will increase your happiness quotient and help you be a happy person too.
Every person on Earth can relate to these words, but there are very few happy souls on Earth who have learned how to always be happy.
Even if you were one of the fortunate humans who had a relatively happy childhood, you would have experienced some contrast in your lifetime.
That’s because the contrast is essential for us to learn, grow and evolve. There can be no light without darkness, no sunshine without rain. Contrast helps us choose what we want and grow in the direction of it.
But for many people who live in a perpetual low vibrational state of fear, guilt, shame, grief, and other negative emotions, learning to be happy takes nothing less than a paradigm change – or a vibrational one.
The Emotional Guidance Scale
To understand the secrets of happy people, we need to first understand that emotions are vibrations. As Nikola Tesla said, “If you want to find the secrets of the universe, think in terms of energy, frequency and vibration.”
Everything in the universe calibrates at specific vibration levels. This is the basis of the Law Of Attraction, which states that like attracts like and that you attract into your life whatever you focus on.
This is why happy people attract more happiness, rich people attract more wealth and people who are struggling attract more adversity.
Law of Attraction teachers, Abraham-Hicks, introduced the Emotional Guidance Scale in the book, Ask And It Is Given, where they explain how different emotions calibrate to different vibrational levels, and how to move up the emotional guidance scale and raise your vibration to joy.
10 Tips To Increase Your Happiness Quotient
Want to raise your vibration to that of joy and happiness and learn how to always be happy? Here are some tips from some of the happiest people in the world to help you increase your happiness quotient and become a happy person.
1. Happiness is a choice
Most of us are not taught that happiness comes from within. We grow up believing that happiness comes from money, relationships, career success, or any number of external things.
One of the most misleading phrases in my opinion is the “pursuit of happiness.” It implies that one must strive for happiness and work towards it.
But this is not true. Law of Attraction teachers, Abraham-Hicks, teach that life is not about finding happiness, but choosing to be happy unconditionally and allowing happiness into your life.
Happiness cannot depend on external conditions because if you let external conditions dictate your happiness, you’ll never really be happy.
Happiness is a choice. And sometimes it takes a life-changing book to make you realise that. For me, that book was Shortcut through Therapy: Ten Principles of Growth-Oriented, Contented Living by psychologist Richard Carlson.
It taught me that I could choose to be happy without conditions, that a person’s attitude plays a role in their healing process, and how to be happy without being dependent on a therapist.
Another book you can read is Happiness Is a Choice by therapist Barry Neil Kaufman, in which he shows you how to use the traits of happy people to change your life quickly and easily.
As Steve Maraboli so wisely said, “Happiness is a state of mind, a choice, a way of living; it is not something to be achieved, it is something to be experienced.”
2. You can create your own happiness
Another life-changing book that helped me realise I could create my own happiness was Holocaust survivor Viktor Frankl’s Man’s Search for Meaning.
One of the most profound quotes from his book is, “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms – to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”
A person could have to eat bugs to survive in a cold, wet prison cell and still be happy to be alive. They’ve gratefully accepted their surroundings and found greater meaning in it, making the experience bearable.
Your attitude and the thoughts that you choose to think are not carved in stone. You can choose, at any point in time, to think different thoughts.
Changing one’s thoughts takes discipline and practice, but you can do it as long as you’re motivated to do so. As Abraham Lincoln is reported to have said, “Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.”
Except for people who have an irrational aversion to being happy (a term known as cherophobia), the reason most people don’t want to change their attitude or state of mind is that change is scary and uncomfortable.
For most people, unhappiness is like an old friend, one they may not like, but trust more than the fleeting stranger – happiness. They’ve invested so much of their lives in being miserable that they – and their loved ones – can’t see themselves any other way.
As Qigong Master Chunyi Lin says, “Happiness is a skill and just like other skills, it takes practice. If you focus on happiness and practice happiness it will become a powerful tool to help you enjoy life.”
In fact, when you decide to choose unconditional happiness, it may cause an upheaval in your life as toxic relationships start to change or fall away. However, the ones who truly love you and want you to be happy will stick around.
One common thread that runs through all the studies on the science of happiness – from Buddhist mind-training techniques to psychological studies – is that you can choose to think happy thoughts anytime.
It really is that simple to be happy. All you have to do is reach for a thought that feels better. Or find something that makes you happy and fixate on it. Abraham-Hicks call it calibrating to your Inner Being.
And since anything you practice often enough becomes a habit, you can actually make it a habit to choose happy thoughts and create your own happiness anytime, anyplace.
3. Don’t take anything personally (or too seriously)
Quite possibly the hardest of all these happiness tips is the one to stop taking things personally. It’s easy for us to feel hurt and unhappy when the people we care about are cruel or harsh with us.
But as Don Miguel Ruiz writes in The Four Agreements, “Whatever happens around you, don’t take it personally. Nothing other people do is because of you.”
He also states that the way to stop taking things personally is by practice. Once you understand that the opinions, the beliefs, and the point of view other people use to see the world has nothing to do with you, then you will no longer take anything personally.
This awareness makes you immune to what other people think about you, and what’s more important, it makes you immune to what you think about yourself.
If you want to be happy, you need to be immune to what other people think. I like to think of it as putting on my non-stick Teflon coat, so other people’s opinions of me bounce off like water off a duck’s back.
The corollary to this happiness tip is to not take yourself or life too seriously. Have a sense of humour and learn to laugh at yourself and your foibles. As the Greek philosopher, Epictetus said, “He who laughs at himself never runs out of things to laugh at.”
4. Take responsibility for your life & happiness
Have you met people who are totally invested in blaming others for their lives and in complaining about the way their life has turned out? This is what is known as a victim mindset.
Being a victim is disempowering because it means you’re at the mercy of other people and circumstances. When you blame others and refuse to take responsibility for your life and for everything you’ve attracted into it, you’re powerless to change things.
If you want things to change, you need to take responsibility for creating your life by design, not by default. The first step is to stop blaming others and complaining about them because this just keeps you stuck in low vibration and makes it harder for you to get happy.
Take back ownership of your life and your own happiness by accepting responsibility for your emotions and feelings and calibrating your vibration to joy. As Esther Hicks said, “The greatest gift you can ever give another person is your own happiness.”
5. Don’t try to be perfect or control everything
Perfection and the pursuit of it is a way of trying to prove one’s worth to oneself and others. The desire to prove oneself and control everything or everyone arises from the belief that we’re not enough.
In The Gifts of Imperfection, Brené Brown writes:
Understanding the difference between healthy striving and perfectionism is critical to laying down the shield and picking up your life. Research shows that perfectionism hampers success. In fact, it’s often the path to depression, anxiety, addiction, and life paralysis.
The reason we stress ourselves out trying to control everything, be flawless, or attain some illusory level of perfection is that we don’t feel like we’re good enough, which comes from low self-worth and low self-esteem.
As author and psychologist, Richard Carlson said, “Stress is nothing more than a socially acceptable form of mental illness. If we would just slow down, happiness would catch up to us.”
Stress keeps happiness out, so slow down and savour life. Learn how to boost your self-esteem, be kinder to yourself, accept your flaws and imperfections, learn to live in the moment fully and let the happiness in.
It requires self-compassion and acceptance of one’s imperfections to realise that we’re all whole, complete and perfect as we are and that we need to stop judging ourselves and others harshly for being human.
This beautiful ‘I Am Enough’ Guided Meditation by Marisa Peer, world-renowned psychotherapist and creator of Rapid Transformational Therapy, will positively reset your day and help your mind absorb the belief that you are enough.
6. Take care of yourself first
Most of us have been taught that it’s selfish to put ourselves first and that being self-sacrificing is a virtue. Nothing could be further from the truth.
When you act the martyr, it only creates resentment and anger, poisons your relationships and pushes happiness away.
Taking care of yourself first may require a change in attitude, but as Abraham-Hicks says, “If you’re not selfish enough to come into vibrational alignment with who you really are, you have nothing to give anyone anyway.”
7. Mind your own business
When you gossip about others, focus on their flaws, and watch news about all the things going wrong in the world, your vibration dips lower and lower. In fact, I often wish the news on television came with this statutory warning:
As Esther Hicks says, “Look around less, imagine more.” So, if you want to keep your vibe high, mind your own business and focus on creating things that bring you joy.
We all have the freedom to choose our thoughts and put our focus anywhere we want to. So, if you have a job that makes you highlight other people’s misery without helping them, give it up because it’s not worth it.
As the very wise Eleanor Roosevelt said, “Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.” Decide which one you want to be.
8. Be pro, not anti
Yes, there are many uncomfortable things about the world that need to change – environmental decay, women’s rights, racism, sexism, inequality, prejudice. So why doesn’t fighting for world peace work? And why do wars on drugs only make the problem bigger?
Because what you focus on grows. And focusing on problems only gives them more energy and momentum. If you want to be happy, learn to live and let live.
Pushing against things and people will only cause you to focus on the negativity and attract more of it. You don’t have to give up activism, but you can choose your cause, your words, and your actions carefully.
As Esther Hicks says, “Look for the evidence of Well-being, and be an advocate for Well-being rather than an advocate for getting rid of what does not feel like Well-being.”
Focus on positive change, not fighting against things you don’t approve of. Instead of fighting against animal abuse, be a pro-animal rescue activist. Instead of fighting against poaching, provide alternative employment to poachers who live in poverty.
A wonderful example of this is SHEROES Champion, Geeta Seshamani, Co-founder of Wildlife SOS, an organisation that helped end the abuse of dancing bears in India by providing alternative employment to the tribal people who captured and exploited them for generations.
As Tina Fey said, “Whatever the problem, be part of the solution. Don’t just sit around raising questions and pointing out obstacles.”
9. Look for things to appreciate
When you focus on things you appreciate, you give them more energy. If instead of focusing on your partner’s flaws, you appreciate his love and generosity, he’ll feel more motivated to express his caring side.
As Esther Hicks says, “If all you did was just looked for things to appreciate, you would live a joyously spectacular life.”
So look for things to appreciate wherever you go, whether it’s your child’s unique talents, a coworker’s helpful nature, or just a beautiful sunset. Practice appreciation and gratitude daily and you’ll live a happier life.
10. Follow your bliss
It doesn’t matter what other people expect of you. If you have to choose what makes you happy over what your society and other people expect from you, then choose your happiness.
Learn how to find your passion and live a life with purpose, even if that means choosing a career that’s right for you over one your parents prefer or choosing the right partner rather than one who looks good on paper.
Studies have shown that those who find meaning in their work are happier and job crafting – creating the job you’re interested in, one that suits your skills, and that makes you happy – can make your work more meaningful.
To paraphrase Joseph Campbell, if you follow your bliss, the Universe will open doors for you that it wouldn’t have opened for anyone else.
This is the key to happiness – to do what makes you happy, think happy thoughts, and focus only on happy things. It’s not easy and it takes discipline and practice, but it’s so worth it!
I hope you enjoyed these tips on cultivating happy feelings, increasing your happiness quotient, and always being happy. Here’s hoping you have an unconditionally joyous and happy life.
- How To Be Happy Alone Without Being Lonely
- How To Find Your Passion & Live A Life With Purpose And Meaning
- 21 Empowering Beliefs That Help Me Live A Calm, Confident Life
- How To Build High Self-Esteem: Books And Women’s Self-Esteem Activities
- 21 Days To Recreate Yourself And Design A Life You Love
- 7 Brilliant And Easy Ways To Better Your Life Starting Today
About the author:
Priya Florence Shah is the Group Editor at SHEROES and author of Devi2Diva, an emotional self-care book for women.