Disrespect in relationships is a sign of troubled relationships. If you’re feeling disrespected in relationships or marriage, you should know the 7 signs your partner doesn’t respect you.
Relationships that are based on mutual respect are usually healthy relationships. In this article, you’ll learn about the many forms of disrespect in a relationship and get tips for dealing with disrespect in a relationship.
People who grew up in a family or community where troubled relationships are seen as normal were usually not taught healthy ways to show respect to their partners and they have little idea of what it means to show respect to others.
In patriarchal communities and families, there is a great deal of disrespect in marriages, as men are rarely taught healthy ways to control their emotional outbursts, respect their partner’s opinions, or even treat them like human beings.
Disrespect in relationships can often be subtle and come from family or community conditioning. As one of our SHEROES members shares, “My partner respects me, but somewhere in his mind it is like he is a man and I am a woman. They feel that only men can earn money, women do not earn money.”
But outright disrespect in relationships and disrespect in marriages should never be tolerated, as troubled marriages often escalate into emotional and physical abuse that eventually affects a woman’s self-worth and self-esteem.
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7 Signs Of Disrespect In Relationships
If you’re facing the sort of disrespect in relationships that amounts to emotional abuse, there are ways to deal with it. But first, we’ll cover some examples of disrespect in a relationship.
So what are the signs of disrespect in a relationship? Here are 7 signs your partner doesn’t respect you.
1. They humiliate you
Does your partner constantly humiliate you in front of others? Do they put you down and make you feel ashamed of your opinions, your education, your skin colour, or the way you dress?
Does your partner degrade you or humiliate you in other ways? If what your partner is doing is making you feel bad or uncomfortable in any way, this is a sign of disrespect.
Does your partner mock your decisions, feelings or opinions? If they constantly make fun of you – whether alone or in front of other people – this sort of behaviour is another sign of disrespect that you should not tolerate.
Although most Indians think nothing of body-shaming people for putting on weight or for looking a certain way, this behaviour is another sign of disrespect.
Whether it’s your relatives commenting on your weight gain or weight loss, or your partner telling you that your body is unattractive, this sort of disrespectful behaviour is not acceptable and not something you should tolerate.
2. They are “jokingly” abusive
Does your partner or friend try to get away by cracking mean or abusive jokes at your expense and then berate you for not having a sense of humour?
One of the signs of disrespect in friendship is when a friend of yours gives you a mean nickname and insists on calling you that name even when it makes you uncomfortable.
As this article says, adult narcissists tend to display these immature, childish tendencies, of lack of empathy for others, sadistic streaks, a cruel, immature sense of humour, and destructive tendencies.
3. They try to control your life or restrict you
When a partner tries to control your life, by spying on you, reading your messages or texts, not allowing you to meet your friends or family, they are being disrespectful of your needs.
Jealous and insecure men often try to control their partners or restrict their freedom. Such controlling behaviour is not only abusive, it can often lead to actual physical violence.
4. They take out their frustration on you
Does your partner make you the target of their bad moods? Are they unable to practice emotional self-regulation and calm themselves down? Do they feel it’s alright to shout or throw things around to make a point?
Taking out your frustration on another person is a sign of an emotionally stunted person. Such people lack the maturity to reflexively think about their thoughts, feelings and actions, and as a result, they often consider their behaviour normal and socially acceptable.
It’s also called the “Little Prince” Syndrome and many Indian men are emotionally stunted because they’re taught that other people exist to serve them and that their feelings matter more than those of their wives or children.
Women often make excuses for disrespect in relationships, stating that their husband is stressed out by work or by other issues. But if you’re feeling, “My partner doesn’t respect me,” you’re probably right.
Every adult needs to learn emotional self-regulation skills so they don’t end up damaging their personal and professional relationships.
5. They ignore your opinions
Does your partner refuse to understand you or your needs, constantly ignore your opinions, and keep you out of important personal and family life decisions?
Disrespectful behaviour can include not respecting your opinion on anything, taking decisions without your consent, not listening to you or valuing your opinion.
If you feel that what you say amounts to nothing, it is a sign of disrespect in relationships. You have the right to be consulted on anything that affects your personal or professional life.
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6. They undermine you
If your partner tells your kids to not take you seriously or actively works against your instructions to the kids, they are undermining you and your authority as a parent.
Whether you’re married or divorced, this sort of toxic co-parenting behaviour is disrespectful in relationships and should never be tolerated.
Does your partner speak ill of you to the other members of the family or to your friends and mutual acquaintances? What such people don’t realize is that their mean statements and gossip always comes back to the person they talked about.
7. They are violent and abusive
There are many types of domestic violence – verbal, sexual, emotional, physical, and financial – and all of them are signs of extreme disrespect in relationships.
To learn more about the types of domestic violence and how to deal with domestic violence in any form, read our article on how to find domestic violence counselling, advice and support in India.
Dealing With Disrespect In A Relationship
Now that you know about the things that are disrespectful in a relationship, you can understand what constitutes disrespectful behaviour and know the definition of disrespect in a relationship.
It is also disrespectful when someone makes an appointment or sets a time to meet with you and comes late, as being late is disrespectful, especially in the workplace.
Being disrespected in a relationship never feels good, but remember that you cannot change other people – you can only change how YOU respond to them.
If your friend or partner is a narcissist, there’s not much you can do to change them. All you can do is change yourself, stop tolerating their disrespect, or leave the relationship altogether.
Not tolerating disrespect is a good thing and you can learn how to be assertive and firm when you respond to disrespectful behaviour.
Here are some words you can say to someone who is being disrespectful:
- I will not let you disrespect me
- I don’t tolerate disrespect
- I refuse to be disrespected
- I am not putting up with disrespect
- I will no longer tolerate disrespect
If you’re feeling disrespected in a relationship or seeing these signs of disrespect in marriage, you can speak to a counsellor on the AskSHEROES free online counselling chat helpline for women. A professional counsellor can offer actionable advice on dealing with disrespect in a relationship.
I hope these examples of disrespect in marriage or relationships have helped raise your awareness of the signs your husband disrespects you or signs of a disrespectful boyfriend.
If your boyfriend disrespects you, you can always break up with him, but it’s harder to leave a marriage where you’re being disrespected or abused.
Also, keep in mind that it’s not only men who are disrespectful in relationships. As a man, you may see these signs of disrespect from your girlfriend or from a wife who disrespects her husband.
Whether you’re a woman or a man, disrespectful behaviour in a relationship is never acceptable and disrespectful behaviour in marriage should not be tolerated.
If you’re a woman whose being disrespected by your partner or feeling disrespected in marriage, you can talk to a counsellor online free in India and get professional advice for dealing with disrespect in relationships.
About the author:
Shakun Vijay is Head of SHEROES Helpline & Communities. She is a Counselling professional with 8+ years of experience. An Empath and patient listener without judgement, her intent is to help people process their thoughts and vent their pent up feelings and emotions. She currently heads the AskSHEROES free online counselling chat helpline, a chat-based support service.
She also heads SHEROES communities and ensures the empathy meter on the platform is high. A keen communicator and an extrovert, who loves to read and write fiction, travel and is an all-time foodie. Her belief and counselling philosophy is that a healer is not someone that you go to for healing using a magic wand, but someone who triggers within you your own ability to heal yourself.
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